Reaching new heights of Parenthood!
Something interesting happened Wednesday night. Honey and I have reached a new level of parenthood. It went something like this, (comments in {} are conversations abbreviated for space and because I have just enough brain damage that I can't remember the entire conversation ver batim).
I'm in the kitchen and Friggin' Genius Son (almost 16) comes in:
FGS: Dad, what are we doing this weekend?
Me: I don't know yet, why?
FGS: Well, are we doing anything Friday, because I think I might go on a date.
Me: ~~~stop what I'm doing and raise one eyebrow~~~ Really? {I ask all the details that a parent should ask--who? when? where? etc.}.
FGS: {His best friend, (who spends a lot of time at our house so we call him Son #2) wants to go out with his girlfriend and he wanted FGS to go as a double date} So he said I needed to find a chick by Friday. (He actually said that...cracked me up.)
Me: Ok, well, let me talk to your Mom and we'll see. (I thought the biggest issue would be that S#2 just got his license a few months ago and would be driving...I was wrong).
About 30 minutes later Honey walks through the living room...
Me: Has your son talked to you?
Hon: Yeah, he usually talks to me at least once a day. (usually I'm the smartass)
Me: Has he talked to you about Friday?
Hon: No, why? What's going on?
Me: He wants to go on a date.
Hon: ~~~stops dead in her tracks, jaw drops~~~ What? What do you mean?
Me: He wants to go on a double date with S#2 and a couple of girls?
Hon: What do you mean? ~~~starting to sound a little hysterical~~~ You can't just say it like that! You can't just drop something like that on me!! You have to prepare me for something like that!!! (like I had just told her a famly member died or something)
Me: I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to emotionally prepare you for it. How exactly was I suppose to ease into that?
Hon: Well, I don't know, but you can't just come right out and say something like that.
~~~Honey shuffles away, head hanging low, mumbling to herself~~~
Another 30 minutes or so later I hear her talking to FGS in the bedroom...
Hon: You can't just come in one day and say "I'm going on a date"
FGS: I didn't. I asked Dad if we were doing anything this weekend and I asked if S#2 and I could go out with a couple of girls on Friday.
Hon: Yeah, but we need to talk about this stuff first. You should have come to us and said "I'm thinking I might want to ask this girl out some time." not "Hey, I'm going on a date Friday". I'm not sure you're ready for this. You're going to start dating and then your grades are going to suffer and then you're whole life will be ruined all because you wanted to start dating.
FGS: ~~~trying not to laugh~~~ Mom, we're just going to a movie and my grades aren't going to go down.
Hon: I just don't know that you're ready for this.
FGS: ~~~throwing up his hands and shaking his head~~~ Uuunnnnhhh!
At this point I thought I should get involved...
Me: Honey, he didn't tell us, he came and asked me. And I don't think this one night will ruin his life.
Hon: Well, I just want him to talk to us more. He's going to be going away to college in a couple of years and I just feel like he never talks to us anymore.
Me: I think you're overreacting a little bit because he's a boy and you can't really relate. Do you remember the little talk we had about Diva Daughter (will be 11 next week)?
SIDEBAR: To fill you guys in, the conversation about DD happened about 4 or 5 months ago and it went exactly like this: (I remember because it's burned in my memory and I really think I suffered from post-traumatic shock for weeks afterward):
Honey came to me one day and out of the blue said:
Hon: You're daughter needs a bra.
Me: WHAT??
Hon: Yeah, she's getting boobs and she'll probably start having her period sometime in the next year.
Me: WHAT? NO! Stop talking! My ears are bleeding!! ~~~and yet she went on~~~
Hon: And since we were talking about it I thought it was a good time to tell to her about sex too.
Me: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
END SIDEBAR.
Me (cont'd): But you just went on like it was nothing, because to you it's just part of a girl growing up. Now you're freaking out...
Hon: ~~~eyes bulging, head spinning~~~ I'm not freaking out!
Me: Ok, you're mildly upset, because you're not used to dealing with a boy and what to expect.
Hon: He's not just a boy; he's my first child and my only son. ~~~turning to FGS~~~ Did you know that I cried the first time you asked me to buy you deodorant?
FGS & Me: ~~~~trying not to laugh~~~~
Hon: It's not funny. ~~~eyes starting to tear up~~~ I just don't think he's ready for this.
Me: It's going to be ok. ~~~hugging her~~~ I'll get him some condoms and everything will be fine.
FGS: ~~~couldn't hold it any more, fell on floor laughing~~~
Hon: ~~~crying and slapping me~~~ That's not funny, you're so mean.
Me: ~~~laughing and trying to defend myself~~~ I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Weather permitting, (a cold front came through last night) they're going to the movies tonight. Honey is praying for freezing rain.
Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,
Michael
PS---Summer voting continues through March 7. If you vote from my site, then link again from her site you can vote twice, so vote early, vote often!
I'm in the kitchen and Friggin' Genius Son (almost 16) comes in:
FGS: Dad, what are we doing this weekend?
Me: I don't know yet, why?
FGS: Well, are we doing anything Friday, because I think I might go on a date.
Me: ~~~stop what I'm doing and raise one eyebrow~~~ Really? {I ask all the details that a parent should ask--who? when? where? etc.}.
FGS: {His best friend, (who spends a lot of time at our house so we call him Son #2) wants to go out with his girlfriend and he wanted FGS to go as a double date} So he said I needed to find a chick by Friday. (He actually said that...cracked me up.)
Me: Ok, well, let me talk to your Mom and we'll see. (I thought the biggest issue would be that S#2 just got his license a few months ago and would be driving...I was wrong).
About 30 minutes later Honey walks through the living room...
Me: Has your son talked to you?
Hon: Yeah, he usually talks to me at least once a day. (usually I'm the smartass)
Me: Has he talked to you about Friday?
Hon: No, why? What's going on?
Me: He wants to go on a date.
Hon: ~~~stops dead in her tracks, jaw drops~~~ What? What do you mean?
Me: He wants to go on a double date with S#2 and a couple of girls?
Hon: What do you mean? ~~~starting to sound a little hysterical~~~ You can't just say it like that! You can't just drop something like that on me!! You have to prepare me for something like that!!! (like I had just told her a famly member died or something)
Me: I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to emotionally prepare you for it. How exactly was I suppose to ease into that?
Hon: Well, I don't know, but you can't just come right out and say something like that.
~~~Honey shuffles away, head hanging low, mumbling to herself~~~
Another 30 minutes or so later I hear her talking to FGS in the bedroom...
Hon: You can't just come in one day and say "I'm going on a date"
FGS: I didn't. I asked Dad if we were doing anything this weekend and I asked if S#2 and I could go out with a couple of girls on Friday.
Hon: Yeah, but we need to talk about this stuff first. You should have come to us and said "I'm thinking I might want to ask this girl out some time." not "Hey, I'm going on a date Friday". I'm not sure you're ready for this. You're going to start dating and then your grades are going to suffer and then you're whole life will be ruined all because you wanted to start dating.
FGS: ~~~trying not to laugh~~~ Mom, we're just going to a movie and my grades aren't going to go down.
Hon: I just don't know that you're ready for this.
FGS: ~~~throwing up his hands and shaking his head~~~ Uuunnnnhhh!
At this point I thought I should get involved...
Me: Honey, he didn't tell us, he came and asked me. And I don't think this one night will ruin his life.
Hon: Well, I just want him to talk to us more. He's going to be going away to college in a couple of years and I just feel like he never talks to us anymore.
Me: I think you're overreacting a little bit because he's a boy and you can't really relate. Do you remember the little talk we had about Diva Daughter (will be 11 next week)?
SIDEBAR: To fill you guys in, the conversation about DD happened about 4 or 5 months ago and it went exactly like this: (I remember because it's burned in my memory and I really think I suffered from post-traumatic shock for weeks afterward):
Honey came to me one day and out of the blue said:
Hon: You're daughter needs a bra.
Me: WHAT??
Hon: Yeah, she's getting boobs and she'll probably start having her period sometime in the next year.
Me: WHAT? NO! Stop talking! My ears are bleeding!! ~~~and yet she went on~~~
Hon: And since we were talking about it I thought it was a good time to tell to her about sex too.
Me: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
END SIDEBAR.
Me (cont'd): But you just went on like it was nothing, because to you it's just part of a girl growing up. Now you're freaking out...
Hon: ~~~eyes bulging, head spinning~~~ I'm not freaking out!
Me: Ok, you're mildly upset, because you're not used to dealing with a boy and what to expect.
Hon: He's not just a boy; he's my first child and my only son. ~~~turning to FGS~~~ Did you know that I cried the first time you asked me to buy you deodorant?
FGS & Me: ~~~~trying not to laugh~~~~
Hon: It's not funny. ~~~eyes starting to tear up~~~ I just don't think he's ready for this.
Me: It's going to be ok. ~~~hugging her~~~ I'll get him some condoms and everything will be fine.
FGS: ~~~couldn't hold it any more, fell on floor laughing~~~
Hon: ~~~crying and slapping me~~~ That's not funny, you're so mean.
Me: ~~~laughing and trying to defend myself~~~ I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Weather permitting, (a cold front came through last night) they're going to the movies tonight. Honey is praying for freezing rain.
Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,
Michael
PS---Summer voting continues through March 7. If you vote from my site, then link again from her site you can vote twice, so vote early, vote often!
posted by Michael at 2/16/2006 04:14:00 PM
10 Comments:
That's both funny and frightening at the same time. Ah, they grow up so fast.
With everything I hear about these days, I feel as though I'm going to have serious "sex talks" with my kids by the time they are 8 or 9. Do kids wait until 15 to date now? I didn't really date until I was almost 17, but I figured most kids these days were going out much earlier.
And I'm sure your wife was thrilled at the condom suggestion.
lol! that was too funny and at the same time a little scarry, We don't have any girls we don't have to worry about the bra thing. The only thing we have to worry about is dating. Two boys we have 11 and 5 yrs, I was blessed with of corse ch wanted a girl. Don't even think about it! I'm done with kids love the two we have.
Take Care
S.R.
Seriously...I peed from laughing so hard! It's great that you can all be so open with one another. It's the only way to raise your children. Good for you!
I will probably behave as your wife has when my stepsons announce their dating intentions.
It's just freaky to think about.
As S.R. said at ONE TIME I wanted a daughter so bad. But then something hit me. And you just said it right there. The first bra and time of the month. Having 1 woman in the house with PMS is bad enough. I can't deal with 2. Especially when one of them is a rebelious teenager.
CH
Oh...I am so not looking forward to those days...but they are a'comin'.
*funny reading what happens to other parents, though! ;)
Oh, man, that's funny! I look back and think of all those milestones I had with my parents and thank heaven that they didn't freak out like you two have done! Haha!!
rotflmfao! she is just sad that her little boy is growing up and she's affaid to lose him :)
That is hilarious!! I'm so glad that I had girl first. I can deal with that better. I can't wait to have the 'bra' conversation with my hubby. It's going to drive him nuts!!! Thanks for sharing that story. That was great!!
ftn-FGS waited; Diva Daughter already wants to date.
SR & CH-Diva Daughter is great, but as a Dad I worry more about her. Partly because she is a girl, and partly because she takes after her Dad. What can I say?
trix-sorry about the peeing thing, thanks for the compliment.
april-parents have to stick together.
summer-for the record I didn't freak out; Honey freaked, I had a nervous breakdown.
b1a1-glad you're back,missed you. Yes it is sad, but better than the alternative.
peanut-be gentle with NSN, he's going to have enough to worry about when the boys start sniffing around.
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