My Family: FGS (or not)...
OK, this is kind of long, but if you have kids, especially teenage boys you'll appreciate it.
I’ve been thinking about doing a series of posts about my family and other prominent people in my life. Aside from giving me another outlet for both pride and frustration, it would make a good reference source for later posts. Something happened the other day that was blog-worthy and it seemed like a good way to start this series.
So, if you’ve read this blog before you know about my Friggin’ Genius Son, commonly referred to as FGS. I dubbed him this because, although I haven’t completely made him aware of this yet, he is much smarter than I am. (Actually he’s so smart that I’m pretty sure he’s already figured this out, but doesn’t want to rub it in, and I’m certainly not going to admit to it.) Math is his thing. He’s only a sophomore and he’s already taking Pre-Calculus with the seniors. He makes straight A’s in math, he’s in all Advanced Placement (AP) classes and has been since 3rd grade, and is going to San Antonio this weekend for the UIL Math Team competition. The classes he struggles with most are Science and English which, oddly enough, were my strongest classes.
Sounds like a real nerd, huh? Actually that’s the thing that makes him such an anomaly. He’s also way cooler than I ever was. Although I was a better athlete than a student, I still ranked in the 5-7 range on the nerd scale (no pocket protectors or slide rules, just socially inept, especially around the opposite sex). FGS would never even think of wearing a pocket protector, but he could pull it off if he wanted to. Actually he does have one of those $100 TI graphing calculators that he keeps in his backpack all the time. We got it for him when he went to math camp two summers ago. You’d think this would be another notch in his nerd belt, but NO. In this technology-laden world his friends think it’s cool that he knows how to use such a sophisticated instrument.
But the anomaly doesn’t stop there.
About two weeks ago he got his letter jacket for Varsity Cross Country, he was a starter on the JV Basketball team, (next year he’ll have the choice of staying JV or moving up to Varsity), and he’s currently running the 1600 & 3200m on the Varsity Track Team. Other than the obligatory elementary and middle school girlfriends he hasn’t been that interested in girls, or at least in dating…until recently. He currently has a girlfriend (“currently” being a relative term when talking about teenagers) and she is a sweetheart; also a sophomore, AP classes, Varsity CC and Track (even in 9th grade) and very pretty.
He’s polite, well mannered, a bit of a smart-ass, but never mean (except to his little sister). He can be arrogant sometimes, but that’s because in most cases things have come so easily for him. His mother spoils him. His grandparents adore him (he was the first grandchild, and until 5 years ago the only grandson). And I am so proud of him that sometimes I can’t believe he’s mine. So to sum up…FGS is a stud…a chip off the ol’ block but with different strengths and weaknesses.
Now, having said all that let me tell you why I’m thinking of renaming him…
Spring Break is this week for most schools in Texas so Sunday night some of FGS’s buddies were over. They usually rotate through the house, bedroom-kitchen-basketball court-kitchen-bedroom-etc-etc. FGS got a phone call so I took the phone out to the BB Court. There I see two of his friends with my tools, one with a sledgehammer, the other with an axe. This conjures several images in my head so, being a good parent, I inquire. I can’t remember exactly what they said but it was innocuous enough that I shrugged it off and went back inside.
(Note to parents---if you ever see teenage boys wielding sledgehammers and axes go ahead and ask a few more questions {ah, the benefits of hindsight}).
A few minutes later Honey takes Diva Dachshund out to pee (she’s improving btw, but we still have to help her pee) and she heard the boys and a strange noise in the trees behind our house. I should probably give a little detail here-we have 1 ½ heavily treed acres. We had only the necessary trees removed to build our house, and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. It was dark and the lights in the back cover the backyard, but don’t shine into the trees. She asked what they were doing and…after…a…long…pause came a quiet voice
“Umm, chopping down a tree.”
“WHAT? What do you mean chopping down a tree?”
“We’re cutting this tree down.”
“WHY? Nevermind, just stop it!”
“Well, we’re almost done.”
“Aaarrrrgggghhhh!” ~~comes back in the house~~ “Would you go see what they’re doing?”
So I go out on the back porch and have pretty much the same conversation and then tell them to go ahead and finish but I want three of them up here where I can see them while the other is chopping. And remind them to put the tools back where they got them.
Now Honey is just livid that they’ve gone out there and cut down one of our trees, albeit one of the smaller ones (about 5" diameter), and I can tell she can’t wait for the boys to leave so she can tear into FGS. That alone tells me to stay out of her way because she is the doting mother, not the disciplinarian. I’m not happy about them cutting down one of my trees but that’s not my fist concern. I’ve worked in surgery for 10 years, and a trauma hospital for 5. I’ve seen a few wood chopping accidents, both from saws and axes, so the picture in my head is one idiot teenager swinging an axe at a tree in the dark while his three idiot buddies stand around way too close in the dark watching him. I didn’t mention this to Honey; no sense adding fuel to the fire.
Later after they leave Honey does in fact tear into FGS, (I can’t tell you how disrespectful I think that is; What were ya’ll thinking; I just don’t understand what made ya’ll think to do something like that!) who seemed a little blindsided. Evidently it was one of those stupid teenage things that sounded good at the time. It never occurred to them that we might not want our trees cut down. Been there, done that.
Wait, this is the best part.
They thought they’d cut down a tree and carve a canoe out of it. Keep in mind that this tree was only about 5 inches diameter. And when they cut it down they decided to chop at shoulder height, not at the bottom, so the stump they left was about four foot tall. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, these are our future leaders.
They are spending the rest of Spring Break digging up the stump.
Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,
Michael
I’ve been thinking about doing a series of posts about my family and other prominent people in my life. Aside from giving me another outlet for both pride and frustration, it would make a good reference source for later posts. Something happened the other day that was blog-worthy and it seemed like a good way to start this series.
So, if you’ve read this blog before you know about my Friggin’ Genius Son, commonly referred to as FGS. I dubbed him this because, although I haven’t completely made him aware of this yet, he is much smarter than I am. (Actually he’s so smart that I’m pretty sure he’s already figured this out, but doesn’t want to rub it in, and I’m certainly not going to admit to it.) Math is his thing. He’s only a sophomore and he’s already taking Pre-Calculus with the seniors. He makes straight A’s in math, he’s in all Advanced Placement (AP) classes and has been since 3rd grade, and is going to San Antonio this weekend for the UIL Math Team competition. The classes he struggles with most are Science and English which, oddly enough, were my strongest classes.
Sounds like a real nerd, huh? Actually that’s the thing that makes him such an anomaly. He’s also way cooler than I ever was. Although I was a better athlete than a student, I still ranked in the 5-7 range on the nerd scale (no pocket protectors or slide rules, just socially inept, especially around the opposite sex). FGS would never even think of wearing a pocket protector, but he could pull it off if he wanted to. Actually he does have one of those $100 TI graphing calculators that he keeps in his backpack all the time. We got it for him when he went to math camp two summers ago. You’d think this would be another notch in his nerd belt, but NO. In this technology-laden world his friends think it’s cool that he knows how to use such a sophisticated instrument.
But the anomaly doesn’t stop there.
About two weeks ago he got his letter jacket for Varsity Cross Country, he was a starter on the JV Basketball team, (next year he’ll have the choice of staying JV or moving up to Varsity), and he’s currently running the 1600 & 3200m on the Varsity Track Team. Other than the obligatory elementary and middle school girlfriends he hasn’t been that interested in girls, or at least in dating…until recently. He currently has a girlfriend (“currently” being a relative term when talking about teenagers) and she is a sweetheart; also a sophomore, AP classes, Varsity CC and Track (even in 9th grade) and very pretty.
He’s polite, well mannered, a bit of a smart-ass, but never mean (except to his little sister). He can be arrogant sometimes, but that’s because in most cases things have come so easily for him. His mother spoils him. His grandparents adore him (he was the first grandchild, and until 5 years ago the only grandson). And I am so proud of him that sometimes I can’t believe he’s mine. So to sum up…FGS is a stud…a chip off the ol’ block but with different strengths and weaknesses.
Now, having said all that let me tell you why I’m thinking of renaming him…
Spring Break is this week for most schools in Texas so Sunday night some of FGS’s buddies were over. They usually rotate through the house, bedroom-kitchen-basketball court-kitchen-bedroom-etc-etc. FGS got a phone call so I took the phone out to the BB Court. There I see two of his friends with my tools, one with a sledgehammer, the other with an axe. This conjures several images in my head so, being a good parent, I inquire. I can’t remember exactly what they said but it was innocuous enough that I shrugged it off and went back inside.
(Note to parents---if you ever see teenage boys wielding sledgehammers and axes go ahead and ask a few more questions {ah, the benefits of hindsight}).
A few minutes later Honey takes Diva Dachshund out to pee (she’s improving btw, but we still have to help her pee) and she heard the boys and a strange noise in the trees behind our house. I should probably give a little detail here-we have 1 ½ heavily treed acres. We had only the necessary trees removed to build our house, and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. It was dark and the lights in the back cover the backyard, but don’t shine into the trees. She asked what they were doing and…after…a…long…pause came a quiet voice
“Umm, chopping down a tree.”
“WHAT? What do you mean chopping down a tree?”
“We’re cutting this tree down.”
“WHY? Nevermind, just stop it!”
“Well, we’re almost done.”
“Aaarrrrgggghhhh!” ~~comes back in the house~~ “Would you go see what they’re doing?”
So I go out on the back porch and have pretty much the same conversation and then tell them to go ahead and finish but I want three of them up here where I can see them while the other is chopping. And remind them to put the tools back where they got them.
Now Honey is just livid that they’ve gone out there and cut down one of our trees, albeit one of the smaller ones (about 5" diameter), and I can tell she can’t wait for the boys to leave so she can tear into FGS. That alone tells me to stay out of her way because she is the doting mother, not the disciplinarian. I’m not happy about them cutting down one of my trees but that’s not my fist concern. I’ve worked in surgery for 10 years, and a trauma hospital for 5. I’ve seen a few wood chopping accidents, both from saws and axes, so the picture in my head is one idiot teenager swinging an axe at a tree in the dark while his three idiot buddies stand around way too close in the dark watching him. I didn’t mention this to Honey; no sense adding fuel to the fire.
Later after they leave Honey does in fact tear into FGS, (I can’t tell you how disrespectful I think that is; What were ya’ll thinking; I just don’t understand what made ya’ll think to do something like that!) who seemed a little blindsided. Evidently it was one of those stupid teenage things that sounded good at the time. It never occurred to them that we might not want our trees cut down. Been there, done that.
Wait, this is the best part.
They thought they’d cut down a tree and carve a canoe out of it. Keep in mind that this tree was only about 5 inches diameter. And when they cut it down they decided to chop at shoulder height, not at the bottom, so the stump they left was about four foot tall. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, these are our future leaders.
They are spending the rest of Spring Break digging up the stump.
Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,
Michael
posted by Michael at 3/14/2006 04:58:00 AM
5 Comments:
That's great.
Hey, no one is a genius on Spring Break, right? Make sure you ask him and his friends every few days, "So, how is the canoe coming along?"
By the way, what exactly were they going to do with the sledgehammer? Couldn't you have just given them a chainsaw and said, "Here you go boys, have fun!"
LoL! that was some great reading, I grew up on a farm with two other siblings. We would have never thought of doing something that dumb and standing that close to a tree in the dark! As for spring break you guies have it too easy! we get one week next month then and one extra day off. We get July & August off twards the end of August they start school again.
Couldn't they have come up with something better like playing tag in the dark and climbing the trees instead of cutting one down?
Enjoy! my heart goes out to your wife. Before I start lol again.
Take Care and I mean it literaly
S.R.
I'm rolling here! My husband did something similar as a teenager. Just decided to dig a hole in the back yard. A really BIG hole. So deep, he cut through some utility lines. On Super Bowl Sunday. The neighbors were not impressed with his digging skills.
Haha!! So, are they going to finish it and actually make the canoe, albeit a rather miniature version. lol...
I'm glad Diva Dog is doing well. :)
I've never done anything like that when I was a teenager. I was the perfect angel.
I'm going to leave now before lightning strikes me down. :D
CH
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