Honor Thy Father & Mother
How often do you talk to your parents?
How often do you tell them how much you appreciate them?
Do you appreciate them?
My Dad died years ago, I was 30. I had just gotten on the heart team at work when my Dad went into the ICU the first time. I'm pretty sure he knew that I'd made the heart team, and that he was proud of me for that, but he went down hill pretty fast so I never knew for sure. I didn't cry a lot when he died, to the point where several people were worried about me. It just didn't seem necessary or appropriate at the time. My parents' views on death were very matter-of-fact. It's a part of life and, if you believe in God, it's a time of sadness more for the people left behind than the person who just died.
Why the sudden return to posting? (and don't get too used to it-I'm not promising any kind of regular schedule)
And why on such a morbid topic?
Because my Mom died a couple of weeks ago. She went into the hospital on Friday with bronchitis and pneumonia, which wasn't unusual for her; for about the last twenty years she'd get bronchitis every time the wind changed. I went up to see her on Saturday and stayed most of the day with her. On Monday morning my sister called and said they were having trouble getting her to wake up so I left work immediately. I was about half-way to the hospital and my sister called back and said she was gone. She was 82.
A couple of years ago my Mom's health got to the point that she couldn't live by herself, but wasn't to the point that she needed round-the-clock care like in a nursing home. She didn't want to move out of her house (which is the house I grew up in) so my sister and her family moved in with her. For that reason my Mom's death has been a lot harder on my sister and her three daughters than on me and my family. But even though I live an hour away, and I only talked to my Mom and sister once a week or so, it's strange not having her there. I think about stuff I need to talk to her about, or ask about, or whatever, then I remember that she's not there. It's a lot different losing the second parent. After Dad died we still had Mom to take care of and think about. Now it's more final. It's like the end of an era; a phase of your life has come and gone. That sounds very philosophical, and a little melodramatic, but I don't know any other way to say it. It just feels different after you've lost the second parent.
A few months ago Diva Daughter was selling pens and stuff as a fundraiser for the school band and my Mom bought a pen with her name engraved on it (as any good grandmother would). The fundraiser stuff arrived last week. DD was sorting the stuff and getting it ready to deliver when she came across the pen Grandmother had ordered. She came into the bedroom where Honey and I were watching TV, not crying, not quite teary-eyed but definitely a little red, she dropped the pen on the bed turned and walked out. Honey and I looked at each other, confused until I picked up the pen and saw the name on it.
You hear the cliche all the time about loving the people in your life while you can, but I guarantee you that after they're gone you'll never say "I spent way to much time with them when they were alive", or "You know, I think I might have hugged them a little too often".
Go hug someone you love RIGHT NOW.
Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,
Michael
How often do you tell them how much you appreciate them?
Do you appreciate them?
My Dad died years ago, I was 30. I had just gotten on the heart team at work when my Dad went into the ICU the first time. I'm pretty sure he knew that I'd made the heart team, and that he was proud of me for that, but he went down hill pretty fast so I never knew for sure. I didn't cry a lot when he died, to the point where several people were worried about me. It just didn't seem necessary or appropriate at the time. My parents' views on death were very matter-of-fact. It's a part of life and, if you believe in God, it's a time of sadness more for the people left behind than the person who just died.
Why the sudden return to posting? (and don't get too used to it-I'm not promising any kind of regular schedule)
And why on such a morbid topic?
Because my Mom died a couple of weeks ago. She went into the hospital on Friday with bronchitis and pneumonia, which wasn't unusual for her; for about the last twenty years she'd get bronchitis every time the wind changed. I went up to see her on Saturday and stayed most of the day with her. On Monday morning my sister called and said they were having trouble getting her to wake up so I left work immediately. I was about half-way to the hospital and my sister called back and said she was gone. She was 82.
A couple of years ago my Mom's health got to the point that she couldn't live by herself, but wasn't to the point that she needed round-the-clock care like in a nursing home. She didn't want to move out of her house (which is the house I grew up in) so my sister and her family moved in with her. For that reason my Mom's death has been a lot harder on my sister and her three daughters than on me and my family. But even though I live an hour away, and I only talked to my Mom and sister once a week or so, it's strange not having her there. I think about stuff I need to talk to her about, or ask about, or whatever, then I remember that she's not there. It's a lot different losing the second parent. After Dad died we still had Mom to take care of and think about. Now it's more final. It's like the end of an era; a phase of your life has come and gone. That sounds very philosophical, and a little melodramatic, but I don't know any other way to say it. It just feels different after you've lost the second parent.
A few months ago Diva Daughter was selling pens and stuff as a fundraiser for the school band and my Mom bought a pen with her name engraved on it (as any good grandmother would). The fundraiser stuff arrived last week. DD was sorting the stuff and getting it ready to deliver when she came across the pen Grandmother had ordered. She came into the bedroom where Honey and I were watching TV, not crying, not quite teary-eyed but definitely a little red, she dropped the pen on the bed turned and walked out. Honey and I looked at each other, confused until I picked up the pen and saw the name on it.
You hear the cliche all the time about loving the people in your life while you can, but I guarantee you that after they're gone you'll never say "I spent way to much time with them when they were alive", or "You know, I think I might have hugged them a little too often".
Go hug someone you love RIGHT NOW.
Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,
Michael
posted by Michael at 3/30/2008 10:30:00 AM
6 Comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. On my way to hug...
Before I get to how sorry I am that you lost your mom I want you to know how truly lucky you are that you had a mother like you did and a relationship as close as you did. Just know there are so many people out there who would die for that kind of relationship.
And I too (am crying) am sorry to hear about your mother, the pen is kind of what we call "a gift from beyond" enjoy it as a material piece of her life each time you look at or use it.
I'm so sorry.
My prayers and well wishes to you and your family. This brings back memories of when I lost my mum. I still have my 93 yr old god mother, whom I call every other weekend. I think it's time for me to make a trip home.
S.R.
Thank you all for your well wishes. You should all know that visiting your sites always makes me smile.
Biscuit-I think I've said it before but you can never have too many hugs.
TKW-I do realize how lucky I was, even more so since I was adopted.
Chickie-Thank you.
SR-Definitely go for a visit as soon as you can.
And {{HUGS}} to all of you...
Michael
Michael,
Thanks for stopping by...my mom died when I was 22 (20 years ago) and my dad's health has been dodgey lately. I think I understand what you mean about the end of an era. I anticipate that I will feel the hot breath of mortality breathing down my neck when my dad is gone.
And I will no longer anyones little anything. It will redefine me.
I'm sorry for your loss.
xx
pinks
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