The Psychiatrist's Couch Potato

I should be asleep!

2008-07-03T04:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's 5ish a.m. and I'm sitting in here on the damn computer on my day off. Damn! Why you ask? (Well, let's just pretend you asked, ok!) Honey woke up about an hour ago and realized that FGS and two of his friends were in the living room, still awake, and playing X-box or something. Normally this isn't a big deal. In fact during the summer it's pretty common around here, but they're driving to Dallas later this morning for Warp Tour (sorry I don't have a link for that but feel free to google it. Go ahead, I'll wait...). And then they'll be driving back about 11pm tonight. Now I'll be the first to admit that Honey is wound a little tight when it comes to stuff like this, especially if it's something she neither understands nor agrees with, but this certainly isn't the wisest thing FGS has done either.
This all started at 4am when my alarm clock went off (so I guess it's my fault). Why the alarm clock was on is a whole other story...I'm on semi-vacation all this week. NO ALARM CLOCKS!!!!!!! Anyway, Honey gets all riled up and I try to ignore her when she gets like that, especially in the middle of the night because I know that if I get too far from Sleepville I'll never get back. Sure enough, here I am, up making tea after laying awake in bed for an hour.

So I thought I'd take advantage of the time and do something I hadn't done in a while; blog. So last night we went to the Concert in the Gardens for the symphony and fireworks show. Music was ok, fireworks were awesome, especially the finale. I've never seen so many fireworks set off at one time; it was so bright you could hardly look at it at one point. They do this at the Botanical Gardens every summer. In fact they have a whole series of concerts through June and most end with Fireworks. Saturday is the last one at the Gardens and they're doing music by The Eagles. LOL, I just realized the Fort Worth Sympony will be doubling as an Eagles cover band. Again, I'd offer a link but...

Ok, I'm off to make some blog rounds and visit some people I haven't talked to in a while.

Happy 4th everyone.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

INDIANA JONES - Don't pay full price!

2008-05-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but FGS works at a local movie theatre so sometimes we get to see free movies. And occasionally we get to see a sneak preview with the rest of the theatre staff. Last night was one of those nights. We, (FGS, Diva Daughter) and I got to the theatre about 10pm last night to see the new INDIANA JONES movie. I have to say I was a little disappointed. Fortunately my expections weren't really high to begin with. I think it could've been great; all the ingredients were there but they just couldn't pull it off.

Of course sequels are almost never as good, certainly not better than the originals. But having said that I still hoped this would be a great addition to an iconic franchise. The plot was redundant and the outcome was just silly. There are too many other good movies out right now to waste your money on this movie. I suggest waiting until it hits the dollar movies or video stores. But if you absolutely must see it then DO NOT pay full price; find a matinee.

Happy Memorial Day / 3-Day weekend

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

DEAD WOOD

2008-05-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Had a little "disagreement" with Honey on the way home from work yesterday and as I lay in bed later that night I was reminded of a timeless and prophetic line from the HBO series Deadwood:

"Tread lightly he who lives in hope of pussy"

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

(and tread lightly)

Michael

Shameless Bragging

2008-04-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

The past year hasn’t been one of the best for us. The few of you that still stop by here know about my mother, but there've been other things going on that I just haven’t talked about online. Nothing as bad as my mom dying, but still…

Finally some good news; my Friggin’ Genius Son will be graduating high school next month. We thought he was going to college somewhere local but a few weeks ago he decided he wanted to go to Howard Payne University. He was accepted almost immediately (3.99 GPA) but the big question was how we’d pay for it. We just got word today that he’d been awarded a $30,000 scholarship by the university. He was eligible for larger ones but since he didn’t decide he wanted to go there until late we missed some of the deadlines. He’s also hoping he can play basketball and tennis there. There won’t be any scholarship money in that but it’s something he enjoys so we’re hopeful.

We're going out there Monday to visit the school. We'll be meeting with the financial aid people while he meets the head of the math department and the basketball coach.

Wish us luck!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Honor Thy Father & Mother

2008-03-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

How often do you talk to your parents?

How often do you tell them how much you appreciate them?

Do you appreciate them?

My Dad died years ago, I was 30. I had just gotten on the heart team at work when my Dad went into the ICU the first time. I'm pretty sure he knew that I'd made the heart team, and that he was proud of me for that, but he went down hill pretty fast so I never knew for sure. I didn't cry a lot when he died, to the point where several people were worried about me. It just didn't seem necessary or appropriate at the time. My parents' views on death were very matter-of-fact. It's a part of life and, if you believe in God, it's a time of sadness more for the people left behind than the person who just died.

Why the sudden return to posting? (and don't get too used to it-I'm not promising any kind of regular schedule)

And why on such a morbid topic?

Because my Mom died a couple of weeks ago. She went into the hospital on Friday with bronchitis and pneumonia, which wasn't unusual for her; for about the last twenty years she'd get bronchitis every time the wind changed. I went up to see her on Saturday and stayed most of the day with her. On Monday morning my sister called and said they were having trouble getting her to wake up so I left work immediately. I was about half-way to the hospital and my sister called back and said she was gone. She was 82.

A couple of years ago my Mom's health got to the point that she couldn't live by herself, but wasn't to the point that she needed round-the-clock care like in a nursing home. She didn't want to move out of her house (which is the house I grew up in) so my sister and her family moved in with her. For that reason my Mom's death has been a lot harder on my sister and her three daughters than on me and my family. But even though I live an hour away, and I only talked to my Mom and sister once a week or so, it's strange not having her there. I think about stuff I need to talk to her about, or ask about, or whatever, then I remember that she's not there. It's a lot different losing the second parent. After Dad died we still had Mom to take care of and think about. Now it's more final. It's like the end of an era; a phase of your life has come and gone. That sounds very philosophical, and a little melodramatic, but I don't know any other way to say it. It just feels different after you've lost the second parent.

A few months ago Diva Daughter was selling pens and stuff as a fundraiser for the school band and my Mom bought a pen with her name engraved on it (as any good grandmother would). The fundraiser stuff arrived last week. DD was sorting the stuff and getting it ready to deliver when she came across the pen Grandmother had ordered. She came into the bedroom where Honey and I were watching TV, not crying, not quite teary-eyed but definitely a little red, she dropped the pen on the bed turned and walked out. Honey and I looked at each other, confused until I picked up the pen and saw the name on it.

You hear the cliche all the time about loving the people in your life while you can, but I guarantee you that after they're gone you'll never say "I spent way to much time with them when they were alive", or "You know, I think I might have hugged them a little too often".

Go hug someone you love RIGHT NOW.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Big Events

2008-03-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

This has been a pretty monumentous week for me. I'm at my sister's house right now so I can't go into details, but I'll make a real post later.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Long Time No Post...

2008-03-06T13:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've posted so I'm going to ease back into this with a little Q & A meme. I stole this from another blogger so feel free to steal it from me; just let me know so I can stop by and check out your answers.

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship? ("Define 'serious'...")
A. My wife tells me I am.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A. I don't know...I don't remember having any big dreams when when I was a kid. Heck, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. I wish I were musical...I'd want to be able to sing with great range and play a variety of instruments.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Jim Beam & Coke.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Are potatoes a vegetable? Maybe not. Ok then green beans..

6) What was the last book you read?
A. "The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey

7) What day of the week were you born on? Or Zodiac sign, your choice?
A. I was born on a Thursday (go here to find out). I'm a Cancer.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. No tattoos, yet. I've thought of getting tats on my shoulder (I still have decent shoulders). My left ear is pierced but I don’t wear an ear ring anymore.

9) Worst Habit?
A. I guess that depends on who you ask...I procrastinate. I'm a neat freak, I'm impatient, I eat too much when I'm bored, drink too much coffee, sand I bite my fingernails, but that’s getting better.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Depends on who’s asking; as a rule I don’t pick up guys on the street. I’ve offered a lift to women and women with children and I’ve been picked up before.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A. I like playing all the usual sports; football, basketball, tennis, golf, racquetball, swimming. I like watching all the uncommon sports like you’d see during the Olympics, and anything my kids are playing.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. I’m pretty optimistic.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Engage in some stimulating conversation until we were rescued.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. My best friend was killed by a drunk driver 17 years ago.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A. No, not at the moment. We had two dachshunds but they’re gone now (story for another time), but we’re getting a new dachshund puppy in a few weeks.

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. As long as you’re not selling something I’d probably invite you in for a drink, or maybe dinner. If Honey was home she’d probably have a fit because the house wasn’t clean enough for company.

18) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Both.

19) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Lose the spare tire.

20) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. What are we doing tonight partner?

21) What color eyes do you have?
A. Hazel.

22) Ever been arrested?
A. Not yet, but I have been handcuffed in the back of a police car.

23) Bottle or can soda?
A. I don’t drink sodas unless there’s bourbon or rum added.

24) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. See Q#6 – I’d pay off bills.

25) What's your favorite place to hang out?
A. The deck/patio of one of the restaurants in Port Aransas with family, a warm breeze blowing in off the gulf, and a cool drink in hand.

26) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. I used to but I don’t think I do anymore.

27) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. What spare time. If I had spare time I’d blog more than once every six months.

28) Do you swear a lot?
A. Hell no. I try to only swear if it’s funny. Was that funny?

29) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Stupid people. Stupidity can take many forms; bigotry, ignorance, intolerance, driving slow in the fast lane.

30) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Eclectic

31) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
A. I’m a born romantic but I don’t think Honey appreciates my romantic side.

32) Do you believe in God?
A. Absolutely.

That seems like an odd question to end with but there you go. Now go post this on your blog and leave me a comment letting me know you played.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

My Birthday...last year...

2007-09-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's how far behind I am. When I started blogging it was with the intent that it would be therapeutic, an interactive diary of sorts. So why did I quit? Especially when so much was happening and it seemed I needed it the most? I guess the easy answer is LIFE got in the way. It all started on my birthday last year.

July 6, 2006-I had taken the day off for my 39th birthday and was spending it out and about with the wife and kids when my sister calls. They've put my Mom in the hospital again and the Dr.s are telling Little Sis (LS) to get all her papers in order. {My Mom is 81 years old and she decided after my Dad died that she didn't want any ventilators or tubes so she signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order and gave LS her medical power of attorney in the event that she couldn't tell them herself when the time came. And it sounded like the time was coming.} Honey and I drop off the kids and head to the hospital. We get there and Mom is refusing to wear the C-Pap. For those who aren't medical or have never had sleep apnea, a C-Pap is a mask that fits tightly over your face and basicly forces air into and out of your lungs, like a ventilator but without the tube down your throat. It's most commonly used for people with sleep apnea and the Doc prescribed one for my Mom two years ago. She has steadfastly refused to wear it opting instead for an oxygen tank and a nasal cannula. She didn't want to wear the C-Pap and she was ready to die that night. There were two things wrong with that.

#1 - LS and I agreed that her wearing something that had been prescribed to her for two years did not constitute "heroic measures" on our part.\

#2 - And I know this was kind of selfish but IT'S MY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY!!!!! My Mother can't die on my birthday! That's just not right.

So LS and I stayed up all night either fighting with Mom to keep the C-Pap on or watching her "O2 sats" and waking her to take a deep breath whenever they dropped into the 80s. It was a fun night.
We all made it through and Mom got better. She left the hospital a couple of weeks later and when to a nursing home where she could get round-the-clock care and on site physical therapy until she was strong enough to come home. While she was in the nursing home LS and her family moved into the old homestead to take care of Mom. The used to live next door but everyone felt that Mom's days of living alone were at an end. LS's in-laws sold their house (about two miles away in the same little town) and moved into LS's old house so the whole clan is living here on ten acres in Texas. Just like the old days. Mom is still here. In fact I'm at the old homestead now. LS and family went to Oklahoma to visit the distant in-laws for Labor Day Weekend and I come stay with Mom whenever they go out of town. I'm glad we didn't honor Mom's wishes, at least that time.

I'm off all next week so maybe I can get everyone caught up on life thus far. Maybe.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Better late than never...I guess...

2007-03-07T02:35:00.000-08:00

We finally got to take Diva Daughter out for her birthday, but it wasn't as great as she'd hoped. Her birthday was actually two weeks ago but she was sick on Friday so we had to postpone. She had planned on having her two best friends over to spend the night Friday, then go out for breakfast and go see Ghost Rider Saturday morning. One of her friends couldn't make it this past weekend so that was kind of a bummer. And I think she just wasn't feeling all that great because she was kind of whiney all weekend. There wasn't really anything bad that happened, just a bunch of little things that didn't go the way she wanted and she got all frustrated and griped about little stuff. LIKE WHAT? you're asking. Well...

It really started Friday night. A new TGIFriday's opened here about two weeks ago and DD decides about 7pm Friday night she wants to go there for dinner. I warned her it would be crowded and we'd have to wait but she wanted to go so I left work and met them there. Sure enough the wait is about an hour and this makes DD mad. The next morning Honey decides she doesn't want to go because she doesn't really want to see this movie, then five minutes after we leave Honey changes her mind and we have to go back to get her. This makes DD mad. We go to La Madeleine's for breakfast and DD wants a de-caff cappucino (she's 12 now and ordering coffee makes her sound big) but we recently found out she's lactose intolerant and they don't have soy milk. This makes DD mad. She orders orange juice instead, but it has pulp. This makes DD mad. The restaurant was really busy and the only clean tables were in the back close to the bathrooms. This made Honey mad because she WON'T sit in the smoking section or near the bathrooms. This makes DD mad. She and her friend decide to sit by themselves. She orders a breakfast croissant w/out tomatoes. When it arrives it has tomatoes. This makes DD mad.

Somehow we make it through breakfast and we walk to the theatre about two blocks away. It was freakishly windy and although the sun was out it was pretty cold. This makes DD mad. But she loved the movie. Nicolas Cage has moved waaay up on DD's "Actors I want to marry and hang posters on my wall" list; he may have even moved up to #2, behind Johnny Depp, of course. DD loves the "Pirates" so as long as they keep making them (#3 will be out this summer) he'll stay at the #1 spot.

Anyway, the movie was totally stupid but totally fun. FGS (soon to be 17) saw it the previous weekend and loved it which was the main reason Honey changed her mind about going. She watched the movie through her hands most of the time waiting for the scary stuff. This made DD happy. It's certainly not the best movie take on a comic character, but it's not the worst either. It's pretty much mindless action movie fun; something fun to do some afternoon. And I definitely recommend going to a matinee, don't pay full nightime prices. It's good, but it's no Spider-Man. It's rated PG-13 but just for some quick scarry images; nothing most 10 yr. old boys wouldn't love. And speaking of things boys love...Eva Mendez was pretty hot too.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Crappy Birthday

2007-02-28T04:05:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday was Diva Daughter’s birthday and the actual day was ok. I went into work late so I could make breakfast for her, then we took her to the Olive Garden for dinner. Honey’s brother met us there which DD loved; he’s a pretty cool uncle. When we got home we gave she got her presents; she made a pretty good haul. But when you’re birthday falls during the week (and birthday’s usually last all week long around here anyway) the real festivities don’t happen until the weekend. DD had big plans too; several of her girlfriends were coming over after school Friday to spend the night, then we were going out for breakfast and going to see “GHOST RIDER”. She was really looking forward to it.

Unfortunately things started going wrong Thursday night. DD woke up about midnight sick to her stomach. Poor thing was in the bathroom about every 90 minutes hanging her head over the toilet. I came home from work early on Thursday because I wasn’t feeling good (sinuses) and after being up with her most of the night I wasn’t doing much better on Friday so we both stayed home. We spent the day catching up on old stuff saved on the DVR, but she didn’t get to have her big birthday weekend.

By Saturday we were both feeling better so we went to breakfast, ran some errands, and just hung out. Then we went to the Olive Garden again (it’s her favorite) Saturday night with the Big Family which is Honey’s whole side of the family. It looks like we’re going to try again this weekend so we’ll see how it goes. She doesn’t get to have friends over as often as FGS does so the fact that we’re ten days past shouldn’t damper things any.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

CORTEO

2007-02-21T07:01:00.000-08:00

Corteo is the latest show by Cirque du Soleil, but it's the first one Honey and I have seen live. Seeing it on TV just isn't the same! We heard several people who had been to other Cirque shows say Corteo wasn't as good as the others. Didn't matter to us though; I guess that's the good thing about it being our first time.

We went to the Sunday afternoon performance (obviously I didn't take this or any of these pics) with Honey's brother and her parents and my only regret is that we didn't take the kids. Even my sarcastic, cynical teenage son would have loved it, and Diva Daughter would have been in heavan. Honey was a little worried when she found out that the performance was actually in a tent, but this wasn't your normal tent.

Just so you've got some point of reference we sat in section 202. Honey's parents were on the front row we sat behind them. These were pretty good seats except that a couple of times the extensive rigging blocked the view of the stage. The first couple of rows of sections 204 or 205 would've been better, or if you can afford it any of the sections in red. But I'm certainly not complaining, especially since the in-laws treated us.

Corteo is Italian for parade or procession, in this case a funeral procession. In the story a circus clown has a dream about his own funeral. In this dream he is escorted by angels to watch as his fellow performers celebrate his life in their own way by each doing their own performance.

Here the clown is escorted by the angels and begging them not to drop him.

This was part of the opening "dream sequence".

I'm not really sure what ladies swinging from a chandelier have to do with a circus, but then again it is a dream.

And a nice dream it was; kind of reminded me of my trip to New Orleans when I was a kid. Well, I was 18.

Who hasn't jumped on their parents bed?

This was another part of the dream sequence where acrobats bounced around on bed trampolines.

They made it look sort or random and scattered, as jumping on the bed should be, but it really was amazing how they did all that without colliding into each other.

This was one of the simplest and yet neatest parts of the show. This little women (couldn't have been more than 36" tall) was suspended in this harness that allowed her to spin around 360 degrees while suspended from these huge helium balloons. The clown would "carry" her with one hand and then push her out over the audience where she would float until she came down into the crowd and she would push off of someone's hands (or head) in another direction. The whole time the clown is telling jokes and talking to her (he called her Balletina) and she would giggle and flirt with the crowd

These guys actually rolled around inside these giant hula hoops. At one point there were five of them going on this tiny stage. I know it doesn't sound like much, but you'd really have to see it.

If you''ve been to the circus or to Cirque lately you've probably seen a balancing act similar to this, but the different thing about this was that the whole time they were doing these different balancing poses that ring they're in was spinning. Oh, and did I mention that both of these people were about 3 feet tall. Yes, that's the same lady that was floating in the balloon.

If you get the chance to go to this or any other show by Cirque du Soleil I highly recommend it.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Mardi Gras 2007

2007-02-20T05:52:00.000-08:00

Mardi Gras.

Fat Tuesday.

The last day to indulge before beginning a 40 day fast.

So where did this tradition of trading beads for boobs originate?

New Orleans?

Brazil?

Mexico?

Some college Fraternity?

Does it really matter????

If you're partying tonight be careful.

Vaya con Dios mis amigos,

Michael

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

What is Valentine's Day? To women it's flowers at work, candy when you get home, dinner at your favorite restaurant, maybe perfume, lingerie, or some other "romantic" gift. To men it's buying all that stuff, pretending to make a big deal out of it, and sex. But mostly it's the sex.

This Valentine's Day is a little different than years past. Honey always gets a dozen roses at work (that's important-they have to be delivered where everyone can see them). I've sent roses to my Mom on Valentine's Day since my Dad died eight years ago. Diva Daughter gets roses too, (not a dozen), delivered to school. But this year FGS has a girlfriend so I had to order flowers for her too. I'm still not sure how to feel about that.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Teachers see the darndest things

2007-02-06T04:14:00.000-08:00

As most of you know my wife Honey is a school teacher. She showed me this e-mail she got from a fellow teacher yesterday. I don't know if this actually happened to the teacher that initiated it or if (and more likely) it's just one of those things that gets passed around via e-mails. Either way it was funny.

If you know someone with small children or you are a teacher.....you will love this!

Do you have a pair of scissors like these? I can certainly imagine seeing this one proudly displayed on the mother's fridge at home. Quote from the mom: "This is my kindergartener's artistic rendering of a pair of scissors."

It was getting close to the end of they day, we had finished our lessons and the kids were getting restless. I needed to give the kids something to so I asked my kindergarten class to draw pictures of some of their favorite art supplies. They handed their drawings to me as I called their name to line up at the door. One of the little boys handed me this of a pair of scissors and I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I made sure it was in the middle of the pile as I walked the kids out to meet their parents. I waited until all the kids were gone before I busted out laughing so hard I cried. When the other teachers asked what was so funny I told them the story and pulled out the picture. Eventually the principal came out to see why all her kindergarten teachers were sitting on the front steps of the school laughing hysterically.

I showed her this…
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Vaya Con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Lame Update Post...

2006-12-18T06:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's been almost two weeks since my last post, and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't look like I'm trying very hard to make a comeback, but really, I am. I wanted this post to be about why I've been MIA for so long, but life just seems to keep getting in the way. So here's a quick but lame update:

Mom was sick but is doing fine now {that's what precipitated my absence a few months ago}.

Still working 60+ hours per week; another reason my blog fell by the wayside.

Friggin' Genius Son (FGS) is taking a college Calculus class, playing Varsity Basketball (another game tomorrow night), has a girlfriend and for the past two weeks we've been car shopping for him. I told him I'd have him a car before they went back to school in January, but I'd like to find one before Christmas {brief pause while we all say a short prayer for me and my sanity}.

Diva Daughter is in band this year and doing very well (Christmas concert tonight). She's also doing very well in school and (happily for me) is still showing more interest in the neighborhood pets than in the neighborhood boys.

Honey is still going to school (don't know if I've mentioned that before) and I've got to stop on the way home tonight to get her book for next semester [remind me to get on my soap-box sometime about the conspiratorial rip-off of college books].

Brokeback Dachshund is still with us and doing very well, due in part to the addition of our new puppy, a black & tan female dachshund.

Honey got fed up with our crappy digital camera so I we got a new one. Hopefully this means pics will be forthcoming. Heck, I might even expirement with HNT.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

I'VE FALLEN...and I'm too frigging tired to get up.

2006-12-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

(vague commercial referance)

I feel like I've fallen into the blogger abyss and I'm slowly trying to climb back out. I've been back occasionally to check some of your sites and try to keep up with the events in your worlds. I've even dropped a comment here and there. I had a good reason for not blogging, at least at first I did. Then things got out of hand and I just got busy and didnt't make the time. After a while it was like anything else you've been doing for a long time; you get out of the habit and it's hard as hell to get back.

I'll try not to stay gone that long again and I'll be back to post the events of my last few months for anyone that's still interested.

Right now I'm going to visit some blogs I haven't been to in a while and see how everyone's doing.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Still here...

2006-08-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

I got this message from chickie yesterday:

*poke* *poke*

(btw she's in a contest on 25 peeps -go check her out.) She's checking to see if I'm still alive. Well, I'm still here but still treading water. A lot's been going on the past month. [I can't believe its been a month since I've posted; I'm such a bad blogger]. We've had some issues with family, work, money, kids, school, church - you know, the usual. It just doesn't usually all hit at the same time. I've got lots to post about, just need to take the time to do it. And I still owe Peanut a tag post {OMG, it's been almost two months since the tag-I'll have to think of something special for her~any suggestions?}. I'm sure you all think I've just forgotten about you, or I'm ignoring you, but I really haven't. The kids go back to school next week so maybe life will get back to normal. Until then

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

PS-thanks CH for checking on me a couple of weeks ago.

Happy Hump-Day!!

2006-07-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

I'm still too busy to sit down for a nice long post so I leave you with this thought for the day...

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Happy Birthday to me...

2006-07-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

Today's my birthday and of all the presents I've gotten this e-mail I got from my kids was the best...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!
WE LOVE YA

I hope all your birthday presents are this good.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Happy 4th of July!!!!

2006-07-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

I know I'm a day late, but I've been off work the last few days trying to reacquaint myself with my family and tomorrow's my birthday and I'm supposed to be on vacation this week so cut me some slack. I've been so busy this past week that I was tagged and didn't even know it. Yes, one of my favorite and most interesting, if not most beautiful bloggers, Pretty Peanut snuck in and tagged me when I wasn't looking. It's an interesting tag, but one that I'd like to give a little thought so, if Peanut doesn't mind, I'll put this off a few more days.

In the meantime, as I mentioned earlier, tomorrow is my birthday. 39. Feel free to send birthday greetings via e-mail (yes, that was a shameless cry for attention). Coincidentally my birthday falls on a Thursday this year so if any of you still participate in half-nekkid thursday and want to go with that theme I certainly wouldn't object (yes, that was a shameless request for nekkid pics), and in fact would be very appreciative.

I hope you all had a happy and safe 4th of July.

I leave you today with this little bit of patriotism.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

I'm still here...

2006-06-28T04:56:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. It's been f-o-r-e-v-e-r since I posted anything, and my last two posts were a little depressing, but FEAR NOT faithful readers (if i still have any). I haven't gone anywhere, just been reallllllly busy.

The computers system went down a couple of times last week and that always makes for loads of fun around here. And I'm planning on taking most, if not all, of next week off so I'm trying to get caught up from last week and get ahead for next week all at the same time.

I took some time last week and visited all my favorite blogs; caught up on the latest, made a few comments, saw a few pics. I'll stop by again before taking off next week. I doubt that I'll get to check blogs while I'm off. I don't think we're going anywhere while I'm off. Honey has lots of things for me to do at home and FGS is working Mon-Thurs. Yes, he actually has a job. Well, sort of. He's babysitting for my S-I-L during the summer while she's working. Evidently paying him is cheaper than paying a daycare. Go figure.

Well this has to be short but sweet since I'm still in OMG-I'LL-NEVER-GET-ALL-THIS-SHIT-CAUGHT-UP-IN-TIME mode. Talk to you all soon though.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

FINAL UPDATE...

2006-06-20T06:33:00.000-07:00

Chris died at 8:30 last night of sepsis precipitated by kidney failure and complications of an earlier bone marrow transplant. His mother is doing well and thanks everyone for their prayers and well wishes during the past month.

Vaya con Dios Chris

HUG YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!! ....Edit....

2006-06-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

One of the nurses here has a 14 year old son that has been battling cancer for some time now. He pretty much grew up in the hospital. Recently he has taken a turn for the worst. Many people speak to her throughout the day saying the usual things you say to someone in her situation...

How is Chris doing?

What are the Doctors saying?

How are you doing?

Is there anything we can do?

You're in our prayers.

etc, etc, etc.

Yesterday at our monthly staff meeting she got up and said that a lot of people had been asking about Chris so she thought she'd give a report. Which, I think, was a nice way of saying "I appreciate your concern but I really can't deal with the same questions and answers about my dying son over and over again so I'm going to just tell everyone all at once and get it over with".

She proceeded to tell us how he had taken a turn for the worst about a month ago. The chemotherapy to treat the cancer had weakened his immune system to the point that he got a severe systemic infection. They started him on antibiotics for the infection but they weren't working. They tried progressively stronger antibiotics until they found one that worked, but it was so strong that it eventually started damaging his kidneys and he's very close to kidney failure. If that happens he'd have to go on dialysis but they don't think his body is strong enough to endure that. He's been intubated for about three weeks now and is unconcious most of the time. The Chaplain at the Children's Hospital, which is just across the street, comes by his room in ICU to check on him routinely. (In the old days they used to call that a deathwatch, maybe they still do. I heard that today she had started talking about funeral plans.)

The whole time she's telling us this her eyes are tearing up but her voice never wavers. Meanwhile the entire surgery staff has started crying and some of the women even had to get up and leave. I went and got several boxes of kleenexes which disappeared in no time. By the time she finished I know everyone in that room was saying a prayer for her and also thanking God for their own children's health.

Get up right now and go hug your kids!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

EDIT...A co-worker and I went to visit Chris and his mother yesterday (she's been at the hospital around the clock all weekend) and there is cause for "cautious optimism". They really thought he wouldn't make through weekend so they had withdrawn all care except for comfort measures. Despite this his condition has stabilized and, in some ways, even improved. The family is trying not to get their hopes up too much, but you can tell they're excited. If you've sent prayers, positive thoughts, or whatever...please keep it up.

How did I ever live without out this?

2006-06-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

Almost everyone has a cell phone...right? It has become the most indispensible electronic commodity in the world today. I know Honey and FGS think they couldn't live without them...and don't even get me started on the whole "texting" thing (FGS sent over 700 text messages last month). Having a cell phone is a nice convenience, but I still remember when you just waited until you got home to call someone, or pulled over and found a pay phone in an emergency. Truth is they could take mine away today and I'd never miss it.

But there is an electronic device that I absolutely can't live without. Now you have to understand that I enjoy my electronic gadgets as much as the next guy, but I'm waaaaaaaay too cheap and too OCD to run out and buy the latest and greatest thing as soon as it hits the market. I obsess over every purchase over $100, checking prices, comparing features, reading brand reviews, and listening for new advances so it doesn't become obsolete 5 minutes after I buy it. I talked about getting a DVD player for two years before I finally bought one. Now we have one in every room of the house (oddly enough we haven't gotten one in the vehicles yet).

So what is this device that has revolutionized my life? That has been around for a few years but I just recently acquired? That I would trade my indoor plumbing for?

My DVR!!

We've had DirecTV since we moved into our house five years ago, so our two receivers were pretty old. And there was always a fight over who got to watch what on which TV in which room so Honey decided that the kids needed to be able to watch tv in their rooms. Satellite companies are always running some kind of special for new customers so we called DirecTV and told them we were switching to DISH Network.

NO, NO, NO...Please don't do that. Here let us give you some stuff.

OK, what you got?

So we got two new receiver/DVR units and moved the old ones to the kid's rooms, and I don't know how I've lived this long without a DVR. Now I know what your thinking...

Do these people ever do anything but watch TV?

And the answer would be NO.

Actually that's not true, but I do love TV and movies. And I work some pretty long hours so I often miss some of my favorite shows...BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!!!
I can record a whole season of any show and watch it at my leisure. Season finales have come and gone; summer reruns have started and I've still got a few episodes of CSI yet to watch. And the best thing about it is that I can skip through all the commercials. I can watch an hour show in about 40 minutes. Honestly, I don't know how I ever lived without this.

I'm almost always the last person to jump on the technology band wagon so I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about because you got TiVo years ago. But if for some reason you haven't gotten it yet, GO NOW! Really, get up, now, leave your computer, stop in mid-blog and go get one.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

I've never done this before...

2006-05-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

I'm actually blogging from home today. I usually don't get on the computer at home because it's so slow (damn dial-up) but I thought I'd try something different.

I was going to work this weekend but I decided that I've been working (60 hrs/wk) too much lately and I was going to take advantage of the 3-day weekend. Honey has gone to breakfast with her Mom and brother. They've started doing this every Saturday since my B-I-L started working nights. He meets them when he gets off work. I'm supposed to be outside planting some new shrubs we bought a couple of weeks ago. Honey wanted a tree with some color (like we need more trees) in the front yard so we got her a Southern Red Oak for Mother's Day. We also bought some shrubs that are supposed to grow 10 ft. tall as a barrier between our property and the highway. We planted the tree last weekend and I'm supposed to plant the shrubs this weekend. Boring stuff, I know, but such is life.

School's out so everyone in my house is excited. I'm trying to get them to do something this summer besides lay around but it probably won't happen. Honey and FGS are going on the church's mission trip in June. I usually go but I'm staying home to work this time. Diva Daughter is going to zoo camp that same week.

I'm sure there's other stuff I could tell ya'll about (did you catch that little Texism there) but I really should try to get something accomplished before Honey gets home.

Hope to be back to full-time blogging soon.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Anywhere but here!

2006-05-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

Every summer for the past few years we have gone deep sea fishing with my in-laws; F-I-L & M-I-L, S-I-L & husband, and B-I-L & wife (until they divorced), and last year FGS went for the first time. Fishing is ok, but I just like being on the coast. This is the boat we've gone out on the last two years.

I wish I was there now
not necessarily fishing
just on the beach
near the water
in the sun
with drink in hand!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Still in FUNKytown...

2006-05-03T11:29:00.000-07:00

...that is, I'm still kind of in a funk (there was a vague song referance in there-anyone remember that song? the early 80's version, not the remake). Nothing super major going on, at least not with the immediate clan (more on that later), just overwhelmed with work, end of school, spring projects, FGS turned 16, didn't make NHS, wants to go to B.Ball Camp, Diva Daughter made a perfect 100 on her TAKS Math (Texas standardized test), and only missed 2 on the TAKS Reading, but is still so dramatic lately you'd think she was trying for an Oscar or something, lawn mower broke (and Honey likes a neat lawn), Mom's in the hospital again/still, Brokeback Dachshund (like that?...just thought of it) is healing well; she's actually walking now, although she looks drunk, but she's wanting to get up more often in the night which means less sleep for us, I'd drink but I just haven't had a taste for it lately, (this next thing is going to sound really girly but...) I can feel myself getting fatter and I hate it so much that all I can think to do about it is to have another bowl of ice cream with Magic Shell, I wouldn't mind getting fatter except that the heartburn limits the amount of beer I can comfortably consume at one sitting, etc, etc, etc = FUNK ME!!!. I really don't mean for you guys to be the first thing I slack on when I'm funking, it's just that when you're all funked up the words don't flow in the usual way.

Who knew there were so many variations of the word "funk". Maybe that's why the folks put that song on the "bad" list when I was a kid. I don't think they really knew what they were saying, it just sounded nasty.

There is one thing going on that's pretty serious. My kids are both great (of course), the problem is with one of FGS's friends. I dont' really want to get into it now...need to think about it some more...maybe do some reading before I jump into the blog pool with this one.

More later.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Is that covered by Workers' Comp?

2006-04-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

My boss just sent this e-mail out to all the managers...we're expecting massive worker-related injuries as a result of this newly recognized "Holiday".

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is coming!!

Friday is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

I'm still here...

2006-04-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

...just haven't felt like writing lately. Thanks to those that have e-mailed to check on me; it's nice to be missed, especially by two such lovely ladies. All's well here, relatively speaking; I've just been in kind of a funk the past couple of weeks. There's been a lot going on, lots to write about, I just haven't felt very motivated. I'll be back soon, and I'll either have one enoooooooormously long post, or 3 dozen short posts. Until then...

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

In need of advice...

2006-03-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

My daughter (Diva Daughter, Princess, Baby Girl...haven't quite decided on a proper pseudonym for her yet) is going to be in band next year. She and Honey went to the organizational meeting last night and she decided to play the clarinet. I know nothing about the clarinet, or most musical instruments for that matter. Our options through the school are to rent one for $55/month, or buy one for about $800. In the spirit of instant info I decided to check out clarinets on the internet, which brought up more questions. I don’t mind shelling out the money for a good instrument (really, I don’t), but I don’t want to put out a whole lot of money only to have her change her mind 6 months down the road, especially if there’s a cheaper way to go about it. What I need to know from some of you is this…

1. Is there a certain brand of clarinet that is good for a beginner? Or a specific brand I should avoid?
2. Is it safe to buy an instrument over the internet or is it something I shouldn’t buy sight unseen, even if it says it is brand new?
3. Am I just being cheap…should I just bite the bullet and pay the rental fee.
4. Any other information you can share, anecdotal or otherwise, relating to today's topic.

Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Linguistically Speaking

2006-03-24T05:56:00.000-08:00

I've done several of these little tests but I don't usually post them because there just for fun and honestly I don't really care that much. But JY Biscuit, one of my new favorite bloggers, did this one and I stole it from her. I didn't really have anything else to post today so here goes:

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

30% Dixie

5% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

So there you have it...no yankee here.

Maybe something will inspire me and I'll come back and post later...maybe not.
But if I don't see ya again "good afternoon, good evening, and good night" (vague movie reference)

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

The Lighter Side of Surgery...

2006-03-23T02:51:00.000-08:00

First let me just say "Thank you for your kind words" to everyone that commented on my last post. My Dad was a very special guy and if you don't have a good relationship with one, or both, of your parents I highly recommend you make an effort to fix it before it's too late.

Now for something a little lighter.

I was at the front desk by the scheduling board (very similar to the surgery scheduling board on Gray's Anatomy) late yesterday afternoon and there were several people congregating around. Things weren't frantic, but kind of busy for a late Wednesday afternoon. The evening manager sticks his head in the office and the following conversation ensued:

Mgr: ~~~trying to post a case~~~ Does anyone know Dr. Wiley's first name?

~~~No one else spoke up so I said~~~ I don't know how to pronounce it, but I think I know how to spell it.

Mgr: Ok, great.~~~leans over on the desk with pen in hand~~~ What is it?

Me: C-O...Y-O-T...E

~~~smiles, eyes rolling, looks exchanged in the office~~~

~~~Mgr, still very intense, turns back to the dry-erase board and starts to write...D-r. W-i-l-e-y, C-o-y-o-t...stops writing...looks down, shaking his head~~~

~~~laughter erupts in the office~~~

I kill myself sometimes.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

My Family: A Tribute

2006-03-20T06:44:00.000-08:00

This is the second in my continuing revelation of the people in my life. BTW, I’m not posting about these people in any particular order; just as the occasion arises.

My Dad was truly one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. Unfortunately I didn’t recognize that until it was almost too late. He was an army brat; born in Washington D.C. but moved around a lot. He had kind of a rough childhood, got hit a few times by his dad, one of which ruptured his ear drum so he could only hear in one ear for most of his life. In spite of this, and a bit of nun-abuse, he never hit me or my sister…at least never above the waist.

He left home when he was 16 and eventually made his way to Texas where he met my Mom when he was 18, settled down, and started going to church. But in the two years that he was on his own he collected some outstanding stories. I even used a couple of his stories in some creative writing assignments in high school and college.

I guess part of what made these stories so interesting to me was that my Dad was so devoutly religious. He had been for as long as I could remember, but when I was about 14 or 15 he started sharing some of his stories with me and it was hard to picture this solemn man; deacon in the church, served on the school board, county water board, and several other church and community committees, doing some of the things he told me. He grew up Catholic, although I suspect more in name than in practice, and even went to Catholic school. A few of his stories involved the nuns in the Catholic school, but most were after he left home.

One of my favorite is what we call the “Band-aid story”. One night after winning some money at a pool hall and using it to get drunk he and some friends were walking back to their apartment. This was somewhere in Virginia in the late 40’s. Back then most of the shops had plate glass display windows in the front. The details of how this happened were forever fuzzy in his young, liquor addled brain, but somehow one of his buddies fell through the store-front window of a drugstore. By some miracle he wasn’t hurt too badly, that is no major blood vessels were severed, but he had a thousand small cuts, some with pieces of glass embedded in them. Well my Dad and Friend #2 grabbed some boxes of bandaids from the drugstore (which was, of course, closed at the time) and helped their unconscious Friend #1 back to the apartment. Once there they stripped him down to his underwear and cover each wound with a band-aid, never bothering to remove any of the shards of glass. When F#1 woke the next morning, along with his hangover, he was cover in band-aids, blood, and little pieces of glass. What’s worse he had no memory of any of it.

I asked him why they didn’t try to take out some of the glass, or just take him to a hospital or something.
We were drunk 17 year old kids; I guess it just never occurred to us.

Despite that experience, and a dozen others like it, he was pretty conservative. He possessed the strictness and discipline that comes from growing up with a career military father and spending most of your formidable years with Nuns. But he also had a certain amount of savvy that came from spending time on the streets fending for himself. He was never homeless, as far as I know, but he did spend a lot of time in pool halls, dance halls, and bars.

When I was about 13 we found out that he had diabetes. This plagued him for the rest of his life. He had a hard time managing it. He tried to eat right, but even though changing your diet, along with exercise, was one of the things they suggested, it wasn’t taken as seriously as it is now. Soon he had to start taking insulin, and continued for the rest of his life. In 1995 we found out he had colon cancer. They say they didn’t really know what caused it, but I was convinced it was the two saccharin (does anyone remember saccharin?) he would put in almost everything he drank. This was before Sweet ‘n’ Low, Equal, or Splenda; and they didn’t know about the dangers of saccharin then. After we found out about the cancer I stopped putting sweetener in anything I drank, and I stopped drinking soft drinks altogether, (except for the occasional Jack and coke, for medicinal purposes only).

He had surgery to have part of his colon removed, and was on chemo and radiation for a year after that. Just after Thanksgiving in 1997 he started getting sick again. He went into the hospital in December and spent the next month in ICU. He came home in late January and we finally had Christmas (we were holding off until he came home). A few days later he went back into the hospital and never came home again.

My Dad died eight years ago today.

We had the typical Father-Son disagreements, usually spawned by my limited teenage rebelliosness (I was too afraid of him to be too much of a rebel). When I was about 20 he and I got into an arguement about something or another. Whatever it was I'm sure it wasn't all that important, but before it was over he started to open up to me about stuff that I had never thought about before. How hard it was to hold things together sometimes, work, family, community, etc. How much it meant to him to be a good father, but that he was pretty much just making it up as he went along and how much he feared dissappointing us. These were all things that I know now every man feels at some point, but at 20 you don't think about things like that. And you certainly don't think about those things in regards to your father. By the end of the arguement we were both crying and hugging. I saw him in a whole new light after that, and I'm pretty sure he saw me differently too. We never fought again after that. In fact that was the point where he became not only my Father but also my friend.

Vaya con Dios Dad.

I love and miss you every day.

Michael

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2006-03-17T10:44:00.000-08:00

Guess what this is...

Give up...

It's my 50th post!!!

Ok, that's about as exciting as it's going to get.
I was going to post a St. Patty's Day pic but it just didnt' happen.
I'm really not in a posting kind of mood today, but I hated to let such a major holiday go by without a post. Things are slow here and noone really feels like working. Everyone's looking forward to happy hour tonight. I'm not going. Don't ask why.
Well, that's about all I've got.
Sorry to be such a bummer but some days are just like that.
If you're drinking tonight have one for me.
And be careful going home.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Same-Sex Massage...

2006-03-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

...you thought that said "Same-Sex Marriage" for a second didn't you? Nope, sorry to disappoint but check again. FTN brought up this topic one day last week. My comment turned out longer than planned so I thought maybe I should post about it. The questions are:

Have you ever had a professional massage?
Was it by a person of the same sex or opposite?
Do you have a gender preference for your masseuse?
Were you au naturale or did you keep your skivvies on?
Or does that depend on the gender of the masseuse?

I've had two pro massages; both from women. First was a Father's day gift from Honey and FGS many years ago. Second was a couples massage; my anniversary present for Honey and I a couple of years ago. First one was great, 90 minutes, full body, front and back, I actually fell asleep. Second wasn't as good, no special reason. The 2nd girl was much younger, not as strong, and probably less experienced. I left my Superman Underoos on both times.

I'd like to say it wouldn't matter if it was a man, but I'm not sure. I know I don't like being hurt so that's one strike against Sven (FTN's Swedish Masseuse). FTN also mentioned that your comfortablness with the whole massage thing in general, not to mention the gender of the masseuse, might have something to do with how comfortable you are touching and being touched by other people. We all know people that are "huggers" or that can't talk to anyone without putting a hand on their shoulder or arm. And we also know people who don't like that and aren't shy about letting you know it, either verbally or just by their body language.This is going to sound homophobic, but...well, tough... I don't think I'd mind having a male masseuse unless I knew the guy was gay. I don't mind being touched by a guy (Dad was a hugger, as am I), but if I knew the guy was gay it would definitely change the whole sexual dynamic. Is that wrong? Isn't it the same as a woman not wanting a male masseuse because he might be checking her out?

But isn't that part of the allure of a massage; not just the idea of relaxing the muscles, releasing toxins, etc., etc., but just the whole idea of being touched and pampered by another human. Isn't there an inherent sensuality to a massage, not necessarily sexual, but definitely at least a familiarity...I mean come on, a stranger rubbing oil over your mostly naked body. I know it doesn't have to be sexual, but it definitely can be. I would liken it to a hug. I realize this doesn't hold true for you non-huggers out there but just hear me out. A hug always feels good. Sometimes it's affection from your significant other, sometimes it's encouragement or joy from a friend, but (unless there's some bad b.o. involved) a hug is always enjoyable.

Isn't it that way with a massage? Unless there's something about the experience that makes you uncomfortable (masseuse gender, nudity, being touched, whatever) then how can it not be enjoyable. And speaking of uncomfortable, that brings us to our next point. CH, whose wife Summer Rose is a masseuse, mentioned the male-only problem of "pitching a tent" (nice analogy CH). As a medical professional I understand that this is more often a physiological occurance than an arrousal response (especially if you're married), but still... I don't know which would be more embarrasing, getting an erection while getting a massage from a male or a female. Often you are trying so hard not to let that happen that you can't relax and enjoy the massage. That's why I wore briefs both times and left them on; atleast then you have a "pup tent" instead of a "circus tent".

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

My Family: FGS (or not)...

2006-03-14T04:58:00.000-08:00

OK, this is kind of long, but if you have kids, especially teenage boys you'll appreciate it.

I’ve been thinking about doing a series of posts about my family and other prominent people in my life. Aside from giving me another outlet for both pride and frustration, it would make a good reference source for later posts. Something happened the other day that was blog-worthy and it seemed like a good way to start this series.

So, if you’ve read this blog before you know about my Friggin’ Genius Son, commonly referred to as FGS. I dubbed him this because, although I haven’t completely made him aware of this yet, he is much smarter than I am. (Actually he’s so smart that I’m pretty sure he’s already figured this out, but doesn’t want to rub it in, and I’m certainly not going to admit to it.) Math is his thing. He’s only a sophomore and he’s already taking Pre-Calculus with the seniors. He makes straight A’s in math, he’s in all Advanced Placement (AP) classes and has been since 3rd grade, and is going to San Antonio this weekend for the UIL Math Team competition. The classes he struggles with most are Science and English which, oddly enough, were my strongest classes.

Sounds like a real nerd, huh? Actually that’s the thing that makes him such an anomaly. He’s also way cooler than I ever was. Although I was a better athlete than a student, I still ranked in the 5-7 range on the nerd scale (no pocket protectors or slide rules, just socially inept, especially around the opposite sex). FGS would never even think of wearing a pocket protector, but he could pull it off if he wanted to. Actually he does have one of those $100 TI graphing calculators that he keeps in his backpack all the time. We got it for him when he went to math camp two summers ago. You’d think this would be another notch in his nerd belt, but NO. In this technology-laden world his friends think it’s cool that he knows how to use such a sophisticated instrument.

But the anomaly doesn’t stop there.

About two weeks ago he got his letter jacket for Varsity Cross Country, he was a starter on the JV Basketball team, (next year he’ll have the choice of staying JV or moving up to Varsity), and he’s currently running the 1600 & 3200m on the Varsity Track Team. Other than the obligatory elementary and middle school girlfriends he hasn’t been that interested in girls, or at least in dating…until recently. He currently has a girlfriend (“currently” being a relative term when talking about teenagers) and she is a sweetheart; also a sophomore, AP classes, Varsity CC and Track (even in 9th grade) and very pretty.

He’s polite, well mannered, a bit of a smart-ass, but never mean (except to his little sister). He can be arrogant sometimes, but that’s because in most cases things have come so easily for him. His mother spoils him. His grandparents adore him (he was the first grandchild, and until 5 years ago the only grandson). And I am so proud of him that sometimes I can’t believe he’s mine. So to sum up…FGS is a stud…a chip off the ol’ block but with different strengths and weaknesses.

Now, having said all that let me tell you why I’m thinking of renaming him…

Spring Break is this week for most schools in Texas so Sunday night some of FGS’s buddies were over. They usually rotate through the house, bedroom-kitchen-basketball court-kitchen-bedroom-etc-etc. FGS got a phone call so I took the phone out to the BB Court. There I see two of his friends with my tools, one with a sledgehammer, the other with an axe. This conjures several images in my head so, being a good parent, I inquire. I can’t remember exactly what they said but it was innocuous enough that I shrugged it off and went back inside.

(Note to parents---if you ever see teenage boys wielding sledgehammers and axes go ahead and ask a few more questions {ah, the benefits of hindsight}).

A few minutes later Honey takes Diva Dachshund out to pee (she’s improving btw, but we still have to help her pee) and she heard the boys and a strange noise in the trees behind our house. I should probably give a little detail here-we have 1 ½ heavily treed acres. We had only the necessary trees removed to build our house, and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. It was dark and the lights in the back cover the backyard, but don’t shine into the trees. She asked what they were doing and…after…a…long…pause came a quiet voice
“Umm, chopping down a tree.”
“WHAT? What do you mean chopping down a tree?”
“We’re cutting this tree down.”
“WHY? Nevermind, just stop it!”
“Well, we’re almost done.”
“Aaarrrrgggghhhh!” ~~comes back in the house~~ “Would you go see what they’re doing?”
So I go out on the back porch and have pretty much the same conversation and then tell them to go ahead and finish but I want three of them up here where I can see them while the other is chopping. And remind them to put the tools back where they got them.

Now Honey is just livid that they’ve gone out there and cut down one of our trees, albeit one of the smaller ones (about 5" diameter), and I can tell she can’t wait for the boys to leave so she can tear into FGS. That alone tells me to stay out of her way because she is the doting mother, not the disciplinarian. I’m not happy about them cutting down one of my trees but that’s not my fist concern. I’ve worked in surgery for 10 years, and a trauma hospital for 5. I’ve seen a few wood chopping accidents, both from saws and axes, so the picture in my head is one idiot teenager swinging an axe at a tree in the dark while his three idiot buddies stand around way too close in the dark watching him. I didn’t mention this to Honey; no sense adding fuel to the fire.

Later after they leave Honey does in fact tear into FGS, (I can’t tell you how disrespectful I think that is; What were ya’ll thinking; I just don’t understand what made ya’ll think to do something like that!) who seemed a little blindsided. Evidently it was one of those stupid teenage things that sounded good at the time. It never occurred to them that we might not want our trees cut down. Been there, done that.

Wait, this is the best part.

They thought they’d cut down a tree and carve a canoe out of it. Keep in mind that this tree was only about 5 inches diameter. And when they cut it down they decided to chop at shoulder height, not at the bottom, so the stump they left was about four foot tall. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, these are our future leaders.

They are spending the rest of Spring Break digging up the stump.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Summer has ended...

2006-03-13T03:55:00.000-08:00

...in more ways than one. You all know our fellow blogger, the lovely Summer from her site. If you read either her site or mine you know that she's been running for Babe of the Year over at 5.0 Mustang Mag. Well voting has ended so all we can do now is wait for the results and hope for the best.

But Summer has also had to abandon her blog site. Apparently a member of Summer's family discovered her site. I don't know what kind of words or confrontation ensued following that discovery, but obviously it was enough that she felt the need to make a move. Hopefully she will find another home and invite us all over soon. It's a shame that she, or any blogger for that matter, puts so much time and effort, heart and soul into a project like this and then is forced to shut it down for whatever reason. I've only been at this about six months, a mere infant compared to some of you, but in that time I've seen many bloggers fall by the wayside. Some, like Taj (another one I was very sorry to see go) left on their own. Others, like Summer, felt they needed to go because a disapproving, (or just nosey), family member or co-worker found their site.

Have these people never heard the phrase "live and let live". So you may disapprove of someone else's actions...mind your own business. Even if that person is family, and assuming they are an adult and aren't doing anything illegal or blatantly self-destructive...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Why are so many people so judgemental? Do they really think they are so much better than the rest of us that they can sit in judgement of not only are actions, but our thoughts as well?

Ok, that's all for today's soapbox rant. I'll be back with another post when I've cooled down.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Consider yourself tagged...

2006-03-07T05:07:00.000-08:00

CH tagged me again. This time it was a music tag. I’m supposed to list 7 songs that I’m currently into. Truth is I love music, but I’m not one of those fans who know all the words to all the songs on {insert Band Name here}’s third album, or CD or whatever. I’m really more of a movie buff, but I’ll give it a shot. I’m pretty old school and I tend to stick to the same old favorites so most of these won’t be current.

Hotel California: The Eagles (I used to sing this to my daughter to get her to sleep.)
Sweet Home Alabama: Lynard Skynard (Like {1. HC: TE} I could listen to this song over and over again, but I can’t hear it now without thinking of that scene from Con Air.)
Bohemian Rhapsody: Queen
Another Brick in the Wall: Pink Floyd
School Boy Heart: Jimmy Buffet
Sunday Morning: Maroon 5
Feel Good Inc.: Gorillaz

Ok, now I’m supposed to tag seven other people, but as I’ve said before not everyone enjoys playing tag so this will be another Open Tag. If you’re cruising by here and in need of blogging fodder then by all means consider yourself tagged.

Don’t forget to go vote for Summer; polls will be closing soon (today may be the last day!?!).

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Doggie Update...

2006-03-02T13:31:00.001-08:00

I'm about to leave work and make the long trek to North Dallas. Usually I avoid Dallas like the plague but that's where Diva Dachshund is so away I go. She is making slow improvements following the back surgery but they want to make sure we know how to take care of her before we take her home. I'll probably have to go out there again tomorrow and Saturday, after which we should be able to bring her home. Anyway, just wanted to make a quick post before I left work. Hope all is well with everyone.

Don't forget to go vote for Summer. I'm not sure when the voting ends, but it has to be soon. At last count she was in 2nd place so get over there and vote so we can put her in the #1 spot where she belongs.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Weekend Update...

2006-02-27T15:14:00.000-08:00

This weekend was almost as eventful as last week. Honey took Diva Daughter and some of her friends to see Nanny McPhee for her birthday and then brought them home to spend the night. I felt really bad for her because that was probably the best part of her birthday. All of Honey's family were sick last week so we didn't get to get together with them until Saturday night. Then there was all the drama with Diva Dachshund; poor Daughter didn't have the best birthday.

FGS did go on that date, sort of. He was going to double with Son #3 (another friend that practically practically lives at our house) but S#3’s girlfriend couldn’t go. FGS was going with a girl that he “kinda likes” but he hasn’t used the word ‘girlfriend’ yet. Anyway, I guess it seemed awkward with the three of them were going so they called another friend, a guy, to go with them. Maybe that made it seem less like a date, and more like they were just hanging out…I don’t know. You might think the girl, (we’ll call her M), might be a little uncomfortable going with the three boys, but no. I’ve known this girl for a couple of years, (she runs cross country and track with FGS), and she can hold her own with them. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re afraid of her. M drove over to our house and they went in S#3’s truck, (FGS isn’t driving yet). When they got back S#3 came in, but FGS didn’t come in for another 10 minutes. Hhhhmmmmm…. Honey saw S#3 come in and asked where FGS was. I told her he was outside getting him some. She hit me. Hard.

Saturday the four of us, plus two of the girls that spent the night with Diva Daughter, loaded up and drove almost 2 hours in the pouring rain to visit Diva Dachshund. It was sooo worth it. Honey and Daughter had really been worried about her. She was two days post-op and she looked a lot better. She was really happy to see us, but she still wasn’t able to move or feel her hind legs. That bothered FGS; he didn’t like seeing her like that.
I called this morning to check on her and the vet said she was getting feeling back in her toes so that’s a very good sign.

Thanks to all of you for the advice and well wishes for Diva Dachshund.

Vaya Con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Best of times...Worst of times

2006-02-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

(vague book ref)

I feel like I haven’t talked to you guys in forever. Maybe that’s because I haven’t or maybe its because of all that’s happened this week. I’m glad you all liked my little story of Parental Growing Pains vs. Teen Angst. The date didn’t happen due to inclement weather, but it could be on again for this weekend; I’ll let you know.

They’ve posted an update over at Mustang Mag and our very own Summer is up to 2nd Place in the voting. The polls are open for about two more weeks so we’ve got to push her over the top. No, not like that…get your mind out of the gutter. (ok, I was thinking the same thing; can’t help it, she HOT!...which is another reason to go vote!!!)

This week:

The weather here last weekend sucked with a capital S; cold wind, freezing rain; all the things I hate in regards to the weather. We stayed in all weekend, but the good thing is we got a lot of housework done.

MONDAY – I was sick. Sore, scratchy, swollen throat. Fever. Aches. I went to work, but I didn’t want to. Left early to go to the doctor. Got an antibiotic. Got fried chicken for dinner on the way home. Fed scraps to Diva Dog (4 yr old dachshund).

TUESDAY – Feeling much better, Diva Dog not acting right though…probably too many chicken scraps. It was Diva Daughter’s birthday. 11 years. It was TAKS or TASP or TEKS or whatever-the-state-mandated-test-is Day at school so she was testing all day. But that’s ok. We had flowers sent to her at school, (girls really like that for some reason). Took her out to dinner. No cake, got her favorite dessert instead. We’ll do cake this weekend when she has some friends and family over. Got home and Diva Dog acting worse. Moving very slow, not wanting to jump up on the couch like normal.

WEDNESDAY – Got up this morning and Diva Dog couldn’t use her back legs. Dachshunds are prone to back problems, especially if they do bad things like sitting on their hind legs to beg, or jumping off the back of the couch. She couldn’t walk at all, just pulled herself with her front legs. Called Vet immediately, doesn’t open until 8:30. Called another that opened at 7:00. Found out that afternoon that she did in fact have a herniated disk. Try steroids; check status the next morning. Possibility of surgery.

THURSDAY – Vet called about 11:30 (Honey has been panicking for 2 days now-Diva Dog is way higher on the totem pole than I am so Honey is really worried). Diva Dog not improving, needs surgery ASAP to prevent permanent paralysis. Hard to find a Vet Surgeon that could do emergency back surgery. Finally found one in North Dallas, about 1 ½ hours away, but we have to get her there within a couple of hours or they can’t do her today. I leave work to meet Honey at the Vet. Diva Daughter gets out of school early and comes too (she’s also been worrying/crying for two days). Get to Vet surgeon on time. They tell us that they can do the surgery, but there is no guarantee (surgeons have to say that), but that worries Honey even more. Do nothing and she’s paralyzed for life – have the surgery ($3000) and she has a 50/50 chance. Normally I wouldn’t even consider this, but Diva Dog is as much a part of the family as any dog I’ve ever had, and I already told you how Honey feels. And even if I could have her put down, how do I explain that to Diva Daughter? I know, I’m a big wimp, but that’s just the way it is. Surgery went well, took lamina and disk from three levels, spinal cord was bruised. Just wait and see now.

FRIDAY – Normally by now I’ve got well over 40 hours in, sometimes over 50 and pushing 60 hours for the week. Not this week. I probably won’t even get 40 this week, so I’ve spent today playing catch up.

Hopefully this weekend I’ll get to go around and visit some of you guys. Hope all is well with you.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Reaching new heights of Parenthood!

2006-02-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

Something interesting happened Wednesday night. Honey and I have reached a new level of parenthood. It went something like this, (comments in {} are conversations abbreviated for space and because I have just enough brain damage that I can't remember the entire conversation ver batim).

I'm in the kitchen and Friggin' Genius Son (almost 16) comes in:

FGS: Dad, what are we doing this weekend?
Me: I don't know yet, why?
FGS: Well, are we doing anything Friday, because I think I might go on a date.
Me: ~~~stop what I'm doing and raise one eyebrow~~~ Really? {I ask all the details that a parent should ask--who? when? where? etc.}.
FGS: {His best friend, (who spends a lot of time at our house so we call him Son #2) wants to go out with his girlfriend and he wanted FGS to go as a double date} So he said I needed to find a chick by Friday. (He actually said that...cracked me up.)
Me: Ok, well, let me talk to your Mom and we'll see. (I thought the biggest issue would be that S#2 just got his license a few months ago and would be driving...I was wrong).

About 30 minutes later Honey walks through the living room...

Me: Has your son talked to you?
Hon: Yeah, he usually talks to me at least once a day. (usually I'm the smartass)
Me: Has he talked to you about Friday?
Hon: No, why? What's going on?
Me: He wants to go on a date.
Hon: ~~~stops dead in her tracks, jaw drops~~~ What? What do you mean?
Me: He wants to go on a double date with S#2 and a couple of girls?
Hon: What do you mean? ~~~starting to sound a little hysterical~~~ You can't just say it like that! You can't just drop something like that on me!! You have to prepare me for something like that!!! (like I had just told her a famly member died or something)
Me: I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to emotionally prepare you for it. How exactly was I suppose to ease into that?
Hon: Well, I don't know, but you can't just come right out and say something like that.
~~~Honey shuffles away, head hanging low, mumbling to herself~~~

Another 30 minutes or so later I hear her talking to FGS in the bedroom...

Hon: You can't just come in one day and say "I'm going on a date"
FGS: I didn't. I asked Dad if we were doing anything this weekend and I asked if S#2 and I could go out with a couple of girls on Friday.
Hon: Yeah, but we need to talk about this stuff first. You should have come to us and said "I'm thinking I might want to ask this girl out some time." not "Hey, I'm going on a date Friday". I'm not sure you're ready for this. You're going to start dating and then your grades are going to suffer and then you're whole life will be ruined all because you wanted to start dating.
FGS: ~~~trying not to laugh~~~ Mom, we're just going to a movie and my grades aren't going to go down.
Hon: I just don't know that you're ready for this.
FGS: ~~~throwing up his hands and shaking his head~~~ Uuunnnnhhh!

At this point I thought I should get involved...

Me: Honey, he didn't tell us, he came and asked me. And I don't think this one night will ruin his life.
Hon: Well, I just want him to talk to us more. He's going to be going away to college in a couple of years and I just feel like he never talks to us anymore.
Me: I think you're overreacting a little bit because he's a boy and you can't really relate. Do you remember the little talk we had about Diva Daughter (will be 11 next week)?

SIDEBAR: To fill you guys in, the conversation about DD happened about 4 or 5 months ago and it went exactly like this: (I remember because it's burned in my memory and I really think I suffered from post-traumatic shock for weeks afterward):
Honey came to me one day and out of the blue said:
Hon: You're daughter needs a bra.
Me: WHAT??
Hon: Yeah, she's getting boobs and she'll probably start having her period sometime in the next year.
Me: WHAT? NO! Stop talking! My ears are bleeding!! ~~~and yet she went on~~~
Hon: And since we were talking about it I thought it was a good time to tell to her about sex too.
Me: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
END SIDEBAR.

Me (cont'd): But you just went on like it was nothing, because to you it's just part of a girl growing up. Now you're freaking out...
Hon: ~~~eyes bulging, head spinning~~~ I'm not freaking out!
Me: Ok, you're mildly upset, because you're not used to dealing with a boy and what to expect.
Hon: He's not just a boy; he's my first child and my only son. ~~~turning to FGS~~~ Did you know that I cried the first time you asked me to buy you deodorant?
FGS & Me: ~~~~trying not to laugh~~~~
Hon: It's not funny. ~~~eyes starting to tear up~~~ I just don't think he's ready for this.
Me: It's going to be ok. ~~~hugging her~~~ I'll get him some condoms and everything will be fine.
FGS: ~~~couldn't hold it any more, fell on floor laughing~~~
Hon: ~~~crying and slapping me~~~ That's not funny, you're so mean.
Me: ~~~laughing and trying to defend myself~~~ I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Weather permitting, (a cold front came through last night) they're going to the movies tonight. Honey is praying for freezing rain.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

PS---Summer voting continues through March 7. If you vote from my site, then link again from her site you can vote twice, so vote early, vote often!

I'm A Believer
By Smash Mouth
CodesAndLyrics.com

Tagged Again!

2006-02-14T05:11:00.000-08:00

Summer tagged me about a week ago, but she’s so lovely that the last few times I’ve been to her site I didn’t get past the pic at the top. Summer was the September Babe of the Month for 5.0 Mustang Mag and now she’s in the running for Babe of the Year. Take a sec and go vote for her. Don’t you want to be able to say you know the BABE OF THE YEAR?

Another quick word about tags; CH tagged me a couple of weeks ago and in my answer to his tag a lot of you got the impression that I’m against tags. Not true… I like tags. They give me a topic when I’m having writer’s block. They are a way of getting to know our fellow bloggers in a way me might not see otherwise. Now, having said that I’m sure I’ll get an avalanche of tags in the coming weeks. Whatever…I’m up for it.

So the TAG goes something like this: Name five of life's simple pleasures that you like, and then tag five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative.

These are in no particular order of importance or preference.

1) Sex. Does that count as a simple pleasure? Or is it more of a complex pleasure? I guess that depends on how you’re doing it. But I digress; ok, we all know sex is great, at least for a lot of us. And a guy putting sex on his “Simple Pleasures” list…how cliché is that? Let me tell you all a little secret here. Ladies, pay attention…guys like the same things as women, (affection, intimacy, communication, closeness) we just need different quantities than you at different times. What makes sex one of life’s little pleasures isn’t the obvious “pleasure factor”, it’s the fact that another person is willing to let you see them when they are probably at their most uninhibited and vulnerable.

***Yes, I do know how girly that sounded. Shut up. It's my blog and my tag***

2) I like to sit down in front of my big screen, turn up the surround sound, and watch a good brainless movie (that’s usually an action movie or comedy that doesn’t require you to think too much, just sit back and enjoy). I still like going to the theatre, but with the technology available today, it’s hard to beat the comfort of your own living room. Add to that a few beers and some nachos and it’s a perfect evening.

3) Watching Friggin’ Genius Son play basketball. Tonight is his last game and it’s against a local rival. That doesn’t really matter though. I like watching him play, especially when he does well. Of course I’m proud of him no matter what, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sit up a little straighter when he hits a 3-pointer. This may count as a separate simple pleasure but I’m going to include it here…The other part of that simple pleasure is seeing the look on his face when he does something good; makes a shot, steals the ball, whatever.

4) Watching people play music. I’m not very musically inclined, (I can pick out a few tunes on the piano, that’s about it). I’m amazed watching people play instruments. Drums, piano, and guitar are the most fun to watch. Those of you that can do that, I hope you realize what a special talent that is.

5) Sitting outside at sunset by a small fire with a cigar and a Bourbon & Coke.

OK, those are some of my simple pleasures. Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people but, as I said before, a lot of you don't like being tagged. So, once again, I'm making this an open tag. If you like tags, or you just liked this one and want to expound on it then consider yourself tagged. You can tell everyone that I tagged you, just come back here and let me know you played so we can go check it out.

Oh, don't forget about Summer!!!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

A Word on Tagging…

2006-02-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

First let me remind everyone to go vote for the lovely Summer.
Further explanations here.

Ok, I was tagged a little over a week ago and I’ve just been too busy to get to it. In fact, it’s been pretty much all I could do to get around to all of your blogs lately. Anyway, the tag…

CH tagged me a little over a week ago and it goes like this:

List 5 imperfections that you find annoying but could or have learned to live with. These are NOT deal breakers but they are irritating and annoying. But if your 8 perfect characteristics were met, you could learn to put up with these.

This was kind of a tough one because there are a lot of things that annoy me but after 16 years of marriage I’m not sure there’s anything I couldn’t learn to live with, but I’ll give it a shot.

1) Tripping over random stuff. I don’t mean trippin’ in the “freaking out” street slang kind of way. I mean literally tripping over things. How hard is it to take off your shoes by the door, or, GOD FORBID, actually taking them off in your bedroom? I’m talking mostly about the kids now. I know, this is supposed to pertain to our spouses, but the kids usually follow her lead and no matter how I ask, plead, command, or whatever (I even went so far as to pick up everything, shoes, school books, purses, sunglasses, etc. and put, …ok hide…, them in the cedar chest. That didn’t go over too well.) I can’t get the three people I live with to pick up after themselves. But I’ve pretty much learned to live with it.

2) This one is a little harder to live with, and Honey has gotten better about it, but I really don’t like being talked to like one of the kids. I understand I can be kind of like the kids sometimes, but please don’t call me down like a 4 year old. This usually happens when we’re with the in-laws, and come to think of it that’s the only place it happens. Anyway, I think she does it more because I’m doing something that she considers embarrassing, usually having to do with a sarcastic, or smart-ass comment (that would probably be one of Honey’s pet peeves about me).

3) Whining for the sake of whining. This involves the repeated use of phrases like “I hate my hair”, “I’m so fat”, “I’m so tired” (I know that one doesn’t sound like it would fit, but that is sort of Honey’s mantra---she’s always tired). If you don’t like your hair, fix it. If you think you’re fat, put down the snacks and go exercise. If you’re tired, take a nap, then exercise. BUT NO, I guess it’s easier to complain about this stuff than do something about it. If you don’t like it do something about it or learn to live with it, but complaining doesn’t get you anywhere.

4) This one has been kind of a thing for a long time, but more so lately. Step out of your comfort zone and try something new. If I was as rigid about the things I like and don’t like, and my willingness to participate in the things you like to do as you are, then we’d have never lasted. I know you don’t drink. I know you don’t like to be in smoke filled bars. After 16 years I have a pretty good idea what you can and can’t tolerate so I’m not going to take you to a strip club or anything, but I would like to do something other than go to the mall and see a movie on the weekends. Who knows, we might actually find something you like.

5) My last pet peeve that I guess I can live with is when someone takes over a week to answer a Tag, then when they finally do it turns into some kind of angry rant. It sort of takes all the fun out of it. (sarcasm again)

Ok, that’s my Pet Peeve Tag. Now I’m supposed to tag 5 other people, but I’m not going to. I’m claiming the “It’s my Blog and I’ll play if I want to” rule. Personally I like the whole tag thing. It gives you a theme for a day and it’s a way to get to know your fellow bloggers. However, there are many out there who don’t like being tagged. I don’t want to end up as a pet peeve on someone else’s list…I hate it when people tag me when they should know I hate being tagged. So this is going to be an open-ended tag. If you like this question and want to play then by all means consider yourself tagged. If you don’t like being tagged, or don’t care for this topic then ignore it. That’s your right as a blogger.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

VOTE for SUMMER!!!

2006-02-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

Ok bloggers, we have to band together for one of our own. Summer, one of our favorite bloggers, and former favorite HNTers , is a beautiful southern red-head, she loves animals, the TMNT (remind me to tell you my TMNT Tolerance story sometime), fast cars {see pic above}, all things Star Wars, and she needs our help. She was a Babe of the Month for September at 5.0 Mustang Mag and she needs our votes for Babe of the Year. If you go to the 5.0 Mustang Mag site and check out the other girls you'll see that there's no competition. Summer should win hands down, but I guess the magazine's lawyers figure they should go through the formality of a vote. You can only vote once per day, per computer so if you have access to more than one computer then I say vote early, vote often.

Good Luck Summer.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Vague Movie Reference

2006-02-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

There were several guesses about vague movie reference in my last post. I guess it was more vague than I thought because no one got it.

"Becasue parents aren't supposed to outlive their children."

This was from the movie Cocoon II. When the old folks return and Wilford Brimley's character decides to stay on Earth instead of going back, his daughter asks him why they would give up the fountain of youth. That was his reply. I was about 20 when I saw that movie and for some reason that line has always stuck with me.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Political Rant

2006-02-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

I haven’t blogged in a while despite (or maybe because) there’s been a lot going on personally. Forgive me; I know I promised to tell about the talks Honey and I have had recently and how compatibility figures into all that, but I’m just not up to it yet.

Instead I’m going in a different direction this week. I have lacked blogging inspiration lately so I’ve just been visiting all of your blogs and finding some new ones. One of the new blogs I found is called Afraid of the Dark. Armaedes wrote this post about the recent arrest of Cindy Sheehan. I didn’t know I had so much to say on this topic until I started a comment on his blog that turned into a long Op-Ed piece.

In case you hadn’t heard Cindy Sheehan was arrested for protesting inside the Capital Building during the State of the Union address the other night. I’m very sorry Ms. Sheehan lost her son. I’m reminded of these wise words (vague movie reference) “Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children”. I know I would be devastated if anything ever happened to either of my kids. But she has taken the memory of her son and his noble choice to put himself in harms way and traded it for a political agenda. Maybe that wasn't her intention, maybe she's being used by the media and the Democratic Party, but that's what has happened.

As far as "going to war for a lie"; I don't think anyone knows this for sure. This is a battle cry started by those opposing Bush. No, we haven't found a large cache of chemical, biological, or nuclear weapons, but we have found evidence that those weapons were there at one time. And whether the info on the WMDs was a lie or just bad intelligence doesn't discount the mass graves of those killed by Hussein. WMDs or not, Hussein was an evil dictator and the UN was impotent to do anything about it.

Yes, there are other leaders that are as bad as or worse than Hussein.
So why don't we go after them?
Because you fight the battles you can when you can.

In this country anyone has the right to disagree with the war, and even protest if you want to. I would be scared if my son was there, and I would be devastated if he was killed, but I would never say he died in vain. My best friend was killed by a drunk driver 15 years ago; THAT is dying in vain.

Like it our not we're in this war, and we're not getting out any time soon. You may disagree with the reasons but as one of Armaedes’ commenters, ericu571 said (sorry, couldn't figure out how to link to his comment), we (he's in the military) are fighting against the people that suicide bombed the USS Cole, that flew planes into our buildings, and that would behead innocent civilians because of their nationality and then send the video of it around the world.

Do you remember how unified we were against these Radical Islamic Terrorists after 9-11? It's a shame that so many Americans are so short-sighted that they need some form of aggression on American soil every couple of years to reinforce the need for our actions and presence in the Middle East.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

PS-you get bonus points if you can figure out the vague movie reference.

Sex lowers stress!!!

2006-01-26T11:07:00.000-08:00

Did anyone happen to see this article in the news?
Another example of how sex is good for more than just pleasure and procreation! All you other HLs out there feel free to share this with your LL partners.

Sorry I've been absent for a while. Honey and I had a couple of long talks (sorry ladies, we're staying together). I'll blog about that in detail later. My boss has some big meeting coming up tomorrow so she's been having me do extra reports and basically put her presentation together for her. And on top of that Honey flew to Arkansas this morning with her mother because her Aunt is having open heart surger today, in fact they should be starting about now. So anyway, I've got to get the kids back and forth to school today and tomorrow.

Hopefully I'll get to make the HNT rounds and put up a decent post by the weekend. Thanks to all you guys, and girls, who kept stopping by even after I screwed up the comment settings.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

OK, I'm an idiot!

2006-01-25T05:24:00.001-08:00

I was screwing around with my template and settings and stuff the other day and somehow or another I changed the comment setting to "Only members of this Blog". THANKS to CH for bringing this to my attention. I've changed it back now so if you've been by here the past week and were unable to comment then I apologize and as always I welcome your comments.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

LIBIDO-COMPATIBILITY

2006-01-17T11:31:00.000-08:00

This is part 4 of the compatibility posts. You can read part 1, part 2, and part 3 below.

And finally, the one we’ve all been waiting for; the libidos. As most of you know this is a really big topic. Some of you have whole blogs devoted to this very topic. According to my extremely exhaustive and highly accurate poll no one considers their libido to be equal to their spouse’s. The stereotype is that the man is the HL in the relationship, but that doesn’t seem to be typical, at least not in blog land. There was one male and one female that considered themselves HL and their spouses LL. They both indicated that the difference sometimes caused problems in their relationships. There was one male and one female who considered themselves HL and their spouses ML (medium libido), but it was getting better and the HLs weren’t dissatisfied enough to complain. And one young lady said that she considers her husband’s libido as high as hers, but she’s a little more of a freak in that department.

Why does it always seem to come down to sex? As is probably the case with most of you, our libidos were much more equal in the beginning. Sex has never been as frequent as I would like it, and I feel like I have adjusted my expectations over the years to compensate. Now we are at the point that I not only DON'T expect it anymore, but I rarely even ask. I have enough rejection issues with being turned down for sex on a regular basis.

She used to call me at work and ask when I was coming home. And she would ask in that voice that tells you she's not wanting me to do chores ~~~wink, wink~~~ When I get home from work she would be all happy and flirting and I would get my hopes up. But then she would go on about her business and pretty much ignore me. She would always get sleepy before the kids even went to bed so that by the time I came to bed, usually around 9:30 or 10:00, she was too tired. After several months of being disappointed like that I found it was easier just to assume there wouldn’t be any sex, and then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t ask then you certainly won’t get it. There are other factors; diet, exercise, hysterectomy, thyroid, etc. But all of these can be addressed, if you’re willing. She wasn’t/isn’t.

Another solution is that we don't have to wait until the kids go to bed. They're older now. We have a lock on our bedroom door. Why not just go at it when you're in the mood? Makes sense to me. NO.
We can't do that because the kids might wonder what we're doing;
or someome might come to the door;
or the phone might ring;
pick your excuse.

I know I'm not the only one dealing with this. In fact this seems to be way more common than I ever expected. Honey seems to think that this has a lot to do with my adoption/abandonment issues, and I think I agree with her. My problems with abandonment, rejection, and self-esteem have created almost a pathological desire to be excepted by others, and what can be more excepting than the physical and emotional intimacy between a husband and wife? But the flip-side of that is that nothing can make you feel more rejected and unwanted than for the person you are supposed to be closest to in the whole world to not want that physical and emotional intimacy.

I'll have some final thoughts on compatibility in my next post.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

DRINKING - COMPATIBILITY

2006-01-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

This is part 3 of the compatibility posts. If you'd like you can read part 1 here and part 2 here.

Drinking didn’t seem to be an issue for most of you either. No one seemed to be equally matched in this area, which is good I guess since someone has to drive home, but no one indicated that this was a problem in their relationship. All of the comments on this were very matter-of-fact indicating that the non-drinking or less-drinking partner was OK with the other partner drinking. There wasn’t a lot of elaboration on this so I am making some assumptions here.

I like to drink. I like beer. I like mixed drinks. I like shots. I like to try new drinks. I like wine, especially with good food. Honey grew up thinking any drinking was wrong and anyone who drank was bad. It really threw her for a loop when her Dad started drinking again. He had made the choice to stop drinking when they started having kids, but once Honey’s little brother graduated High School her Dad didn’t feel the need to abstain anymore. This really bothered her. Since then she has relaxed on that point some, and has even tried some frozen drinks, but never had a whole one to herself. This caused some problems early on in our marriage so I pretty much quit drinking all together. In the past few years I have started drinking a little more. Despite her softening position I still consider us opposites on this because she would still prefer it if no one in her family drank, and I still want to drink whenever I want without her condescending, holier-than-thou looks.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

SOCIAL - COMPATIBILITY

2006-01-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

This is part 2 of the compatibility posts. If you want to catch up please read these previous posts.

The question of how you and your mate act socially was interesting. Couples seem to be either pretty equal or exact opposites. Some couples are polar opposites where one is the wallflower and the other is the life of the party. Others are what I would call ‘minglers’, meaning that they are neither wall flowers nor the life of the party; they are comfortable talking to most anyone. This makes sense if you think about it. The introverts would be more attracted to the extroverts, and the minglers would just find each other in the crowd.

Again Honey and I are polar opposites. It’s not that I’m the life of the party or anything. I’m actually kind of shy a lot of times, but I enjoy being around people and can usually find a way to make conversation with just about anyone. Honey is a home-body. She is extremely uncomfortable being around people she doesn’t know. She doesn’t like to sit on the sidelines and be the wallflower, but she won’t talk to people unless they address her directly. And even when she answers it’s not a social kind of answer. It’s usually a quick, short sentence kind of answer that almost screams “leave me alone, I don’t want to be here”. This has gotten a little better over the years but still not to the point that she likes being in social situations or is even comfortable. She tolerates them. I feel bad for her because I know she is uncomfortable and I think if she would just relax she might have more fun, but after 15 years I’ve given up trying. For this reason she rarely goes anywhere with me where there are people she doesn’t know. If she does consent to go I try to stay close to her so she doesn’t feel abandoned in a room full of strangers. And she absolutely refuses to go to a happy hour after work with me.

I attribute part of this to her upbringing. My in-laws are very family oriented, which is good, but it is almost to the point of exclusion of everyone else. And in Honey's case it is to that point. I prefer a small group of friends to hang out with, some very close. Growing up I was as close or closer to some of my friends as I was my family. Honey has very few friends, and none that I would call really close. It's not because she can't find friends. She's very sweet and people really like her. And she wants to have friends, but she just won't put forth the effort to maintain a friendship. She will talk to her mother and sister almost daily, but friends that we were once very close to we never talk to anymore; haven't talked to in years.

I know this probably seems trivial, but over the years it has become an issue for me. I like to be around people and I like having friends but I have lost touch with most of my friends because they aren't her friends. She's never told me I couldn't go out with them or anything, but I can tell by her actions that she disapproves and would rather I be at home with her. And now you're think "aaaawwww, well that's sweet", but the topic of Libido-Compatibility is coming up.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

PARTY - COMPATIBILITY

2006-01-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories in my little unofficial poll. Your comments were very helpful and greatly appreciated. If you haven’t commented on this post I’d still like to hear from you. There were four areas of compatibility that seem to be a problem for the Wife and me. BTW – I am going to start referring to her as Honey,since that’s what I usually call her anyway, instead of The Wife or my Wife. I'll deal with each of these individually because all together it turned into a looooong post.

Party-Compatibility
Very few of you consider yourselves “partiers”, but those of you that said that also considered yourselves higher in the socially outgoing, and drinking categories. Hmmmm. This makes me think that most of us are still thinking of partying as we did in college. I know that now-Michael couldn’t keep up with college-Michael.

Honey doesn’t party. Never has. As I’ve stated before I didn’t really party much until college, and even then it wasn’t what I would consider wild. But now I would like to go back to some of that. Wife even suggested that we learn to dance, which I thought was a great idea, but then when I asked her about going out and dancing she’d backed down. She won’t go any place where people dance. She doesn’t like bars; she doesn’t like bands; and she absolutely HATES smoke.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

SEX! SEX? SEX! SEX? SEX!

2006-01-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

OK, now that I've got your attention...

This may be a blogger taboo, I don't know (still pretty new at this), but I'm doing sort of a repeat here. Several people stopped by and said HI in celebration of National Delurker's Week, (it was nice to hear from you all and I hope you come back again soon) but no one seemed to read the post before it and I really wanted some feedback on that so here we go again. Please read this excerpt from my previous post and leave me a comment. Consider it sort of an unofficial poll if you will. Once I get some comments on the subject I will tally the results and post my own experiences. I am also open to e-mails if you prefer. Thanks.

FTN was one of the commentors on this and he even went so far as to write his own post on the subject... In his post he boiled it down to a question of compatibility in three areas: party-compatible, socially-compatible, and alcohol-compatible. And since someone is almost always talking about sex somewhere on a blog let’s throw libido-compatible in the mix, just for fun. I’d like to hear how some of these four combinations are mixed and matched (partier/non-drinker/medium libido & librarian/social-drinker/sexual freak, you get the idea). If you need another example see the comment on the original post.

Unfortunately, those are probably the four areas of our lives that my wife and I are not only most IN-combatible, but we are almost polar opposites. I'll elaborate on that thought later.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Hello Lurkers!!

2006-01-12T14:53:00.000-08:00

While making the blog rounds today I found several mentions of DELURKING WEEK which, just so happens, is this week.
Did anyone else know this before today?
Anyway, in the spirit of delurking I have left a note on all the blogs I've visited today, even if it was a first time. So I'm asking all of you to do the same, even if it's just a simple "Hi" or "Joe wuz here". I have found more interesting sites by following links from comments so give it a try. What've you got to lose?

Did someone say Party?

2006-01-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

I got some good comments on my NYE post and they made at least one good point; I need to define “party”. I can see how that can be construed in very broad terms, and for those of us who grew up in the 80’s it usually brings up memories of dancing, underage drinking, trying to get laid, and/or usually puking in your friend’s back seat on the way home (good times, good times).

First let me reiterate that I didn’t do anything close to that until I was in college. And even then I never had what you might call a “wild phase”. I went to a few parties, drank too much a few times, puked more than once, and never once “got lucky”. But that’s not really what I’m talking about here. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m too old for that. Sometimes I do wish I had “sewn a few more wild oats” before settling down with the “2.3 kids, white picket fence, and a mortgage” (let’s just see how many clichés I can squeeze into this post). I’m not talking about going to strip clubs, dancing on the tables, getting into fights, “hooking up” or anything like that either.

So what am I talking about? I don’t want to get too wrapped up in the whole “should a Christian drink alcohol?” debate right now, but I do like to drink. I didn’t drink until I was old enough and spent many nights making up for lost time. But having crossed that line more than a few times I am much more aware of where it is now. I like to go to happy hour on Fridays with my friends/co-workers. I like to go to concerts or clubs to listen to a band. And even though I haven’t done it in over 15 years, and would probably make a fool of myself, I might even like to go dancing again. No, I don’t have to be drunk to accomplish this, although there would definitely be at least a little alcohol involved, especially for the dancing part (not enough liquor in the world to get me to karaoke).

FTN was one of the commentors on this and he even went so far as to write his own post on the subject. I doubt seriously that I have any readers that haven’t already discovered FTN, but just in case, he’s an intelligent and insightful writer, a very good read. You should check him out. In his post he boiled it down to a question of compatibility in three areas: party-compatible, socially-compatible, and alcohol-compatible. And since someone is almost always talking about sex somewhere on a blog let’s throw libido-compatibility in the mix, just for fun. I’d like to hear how some of these four combinations are mixed and matched (partier/non-drinker/medium libido & librarian/social-drinker/sexual freak, you get the idea).

Unfortunately, those are probably the four areas of our lives that my wife and I are not only most INcombatible, but we are almost polar opposites. I'll elaborate on that thought later.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Before and After...

2006-01-10T08:15:00.000-08:00

Still feels like a train wreck in my head when I try to think so posting has eluded me. Site meter tells me that many of you are still cruising by and I feel guilty not having something to catch your eye as you wander through, so I offer this:

A good friend sent this to me in an e-mail about a year ago and it felt somehow familiar so I kept it. And now I share it with you.
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LIFE BEFORE MARRIAGE

LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE

Watch Video:

HOTEL CALIFORNIA (LIVE) (Eagles)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Vaya con Dios, mis Amigos,

Michael

Happy Hour

2006-01-05T14:26:00.000-08:00

I was going to post today, but I kept procrastinating because I had several different ideas swirling around in the vast emptiness that is my skull and just couldn't latch onto any of them. So instead I've opted to hit the gym and then happy hour. I know, I'm a bad blogger. Maybe tomorrow.

Vaya con Dios Mis Amigos,

Michael

PS-I'm actually an Aggie fan, but I'll still root for a Texas team over a Cali team any day, so a big Congrats to Vince Young and the TEXAS LONGHORNS!!!!!

A New Year's Blessing...

2006-01-02T11:19:00.001-08:00

To the poor bloggers I tagged in one of my previous posts; that was my first tagging, and I enjoyed getting to know you a little better. And I got a record number of comments! But I know some of you hate doing those, so thanks for indulging me.

I leave this wish for all who find it:

May the coming of 2007 find you happier, healthier, and wealthier than did 2006, and 2005 before it.
May you be more in love with your loved ones, closer to your friends, and forgotten by the fools who would consider themselves your enemies.

Have a blessed year and

Go with God my friends!!!

Michael

New Year's Eve SUCKS!

2006-01-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

I have come to hate New Year's Eve. I haven't done anything really fun in about 16 years (since I got married, if anyone's counting). This is going to sound like I'm ragging on my wife, and I guess I am, but she can be soooo boring.

In case you haven't figured it out, or if you are new to me and my blog, my wife is the loveliest woman in the world. She is kind, thoughtful, loving (except to me, although that comes and goes in cycles), and an all around good christian woman. But on New Year's Eve I want to party! Since we've been married we always spend NYE either with her parents or with some people from church playing games. Maybe I'm setting a bad example here, but on NYE I want to drink, dance, and kiss at least one person at midnight (preferably my wife)! But that hasn't happened in at least 16, maybe 17 years; the drinking, dancing, or kissing.

This year we had three other couples over from church to play games, eat, etc. Of all the church friends we've had over the years these are some of the coolest. At midnight we popped open a bottle of champagne (Methodists aren't as hung up over the drinking thing as Baptists) and everyone had a glass and kissed their spouse. Everyone except my spouse. Diva Daughter was there with us (Friggin' Genius Son was at another party) drinking her Sparkling Cider and I guess she noticed that everyone got kissed but me so she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

*****wasn't that sweet...altogether now...aaaawwwwww!!!****

Yes, I love having a daughter. And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it before I have to get out the baseball bat and start beating the boys away (little bastards). Anyway, that was the highlight of my NYE.

I'm at work today, as is my usual Monday custom, and everyone was talking about what they did NYE and it all sounded like so much fun. Maybe I'm speaking out of frustration here, but I was very well behaved growing up, and didn't start partying until fairly late in life (see this post), so now I want to have some fun!!!!!!!

Ideally I would like to have fun with my wife, but she's just not into that. (I was just proofreading this and realized how that sounds. I was about to change it and I decided it was probably most accurate as it is.) When I bring this up, or suggest she come to happy hour with me after work she tells me "You knew when we were dating that I didn't do that stuff."

To which I reply "Yeah, and you knew I did, but we were having sex then...a lot!"

A guy will agree to give up almost anything when he's getting sex on a regular basis. Especially if he has abandonment/rejection issues and hasn't had that much experience with sex.

And lest you think this is just about the sex, or lack thereof, it isn't. This is a fundamental difference between us that has been there since the beginning and has only gotten bigger with time.

I want to go to happy hour and drink with my friends from work. She wants to play board games with people from church.

I want to go to clubs and listen to bands or dance. She listens to christian music on the radio. She says she would like to learn to dance but she won't go any place where dancing takes places because she doesn't like the atmosphere.

I want to play stupid drinking games and laugh a lot with people I know, or people I've just met. She doesn't like meeting new people.

I realize this probably sounds shallow; I want to party and she doesn't, and maybe it is. If so, then tell me. Let me know what you think. This one difference, and the commotion it has caused, is the one thing that has brought us to the brink of divorce more than once through the years.

I know I'm asking for trouble here, but I'd really like some honest input. I'm here for therapy and this issue is certainly one I would bring up, so let me have it; good or bad. Am I being shallow and selfish? Or should I be able to do the things I like to do even if she doesn't like doing them and thinks I shouldn't be doing them either?

Happy 2006 everyone!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Tagged by a HOTTIE!

2005-12-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

When I started my blog a few months ago Cindy was the first to leave me a comment. Now she’s the first to tag me. Thanks Cindy. Cinders is also nominated for Bloggin’ Hottie of the month so everyone go give her a vote!

You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
For my kids to grow up to be happy, healthy adults.

Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. For my wife’s libido to exceed mine.
2. A blogger convention. Somebody needs to plan one for this summer. (this was Cindy’s but it sounds good so I’m keeping it).
3. Win the lottery…or just inherit lots of money (about 50 million should do).
4. To be able to eat whatever I like without gaining weight or raising my cholesterol.
5. To be able to sing and play any instrument like a professional.
6. 6 more wishes, of course.

What animal would you be?
An inside dog…my dog pretty much rules the house.

Something you want to do in your life:
Skydiving.

One song you could listen to over and over again:
Hotel California---the Eagles

Coke or Pepsi?
I don’t drink sodas unless there is something in them (Jim Beam, Crown, etc.)

Something you currently desire:
To be out of debt.

One good deed you've done lately:
Bought makeup for a co-worker after her bag was stolen out of her car with all her girl stuff in it.

A funny moment in your life:
I was at a party with my girlfriend in high school. She was trying to tell me that she liked for me to nibble on and stick my tongue in her ears but I couldn’t understand her because the music was so loud. So she gets right in my ear and starts yelling this when suddenly the music quits in mid-song. Everyone was talking loud because of the music, but when the music stopped all you could hear was my girlfriend screaming “AND STICK YOUR TONGUE IN MY…” and that’s when she realized she was screaming in a quiet room. She was really embarrassed, but the next week that’s all anyone remembered from the party. I don’t think she ever lived that down.

I’m supposed to tag five other people now so here goes:

CH
DHP
Mara
Velma
Butter Pecan

Just copy and paste the questions above into your blog and put in your answers.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Merry Christmas...(sorry I'm late)

2005-12-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas (a day late)!

I hope all of you had a very good Christmas. Got what you wanted, spent time with loved ones, indulged your kids, loved your SO, rested, etc., etc., etc.,

Christmas was good on the psychiatrist’s couch this year; at least for me. The kids got what they wanted, credit card charges were kept to a minimum, and the holidays passed without any major family crisis or confrontations.

Lovely Wife was a little disappointed though. Money was a little tight this year (usually we try to go without using any credit cards, but this year we had to break down a couple of times) and she had to be a little more cautious with the check card, and she hates that. Partly because she wants to spend freely (although she would never admit that), but mostly because she has a big heart and she just wants to get everyone what they want regardless of price, size, or shipping costs. I love her for that and I hate to disappoint her so here I sit at work, blogging on the clock.

That wasn’t the only reason she was bummed this year though. She said, and I agreed, that this year just didn’t feel very Christmasy (not a real word, but you get it). I’m not really sure what it was, but she was right, it didn’t really feel like Christmas. No one seemed to have the Christmas spirit. Everything seemed like a chore this year; shopping, putting up the tree, the lights, everything. Even on the radio, the big story this year was which stores were actually saying “Merry Christmas” or just “Happy Holidays”. Anyway, I’m sad to say “it’s over and I’m glad.”

I know…bah humbug.

I think another downer this year was that this was our first year WITHOUT Santa. Yeah, last year, when the kids went back to school, some little shit told my daughter (9 at the time) that there was no such thing as Santa. I know there are a lot of parents out there that teach their kids that, but dammit why do some of you have to spoil it for the rest of us. Believing in Santa is one of the last vestiges of childhood innocence. My daughter was crushed when she came home and told us what this boy had said. Some will say that the child’s disappointment is the very reason they don’t teach their kids about Santa, but I say that’s crap! It wasn’t her belief in Santa that caused her little heart to break. It was the untimely revelation of his existence as a symbol and not a real person. She would have figured it out for herself in due time, as we all did.

From a purely pragmatic standpoint I’m ok with their being no Santa; fewer presents to buy. But Lovely Wife was almost as crushed as Diva Daughter. She wanted to call this kid’s mother last year and chew her out for letting her kid ruin every Christmas for us from now on (she can get passionate about some things). By the time Christmas rolled around this year Daughter was totally cool with the whole thing (except that she now realized there might be fewer presents) but Wife was still coping. We went ahead and bought presents to put out that night, more for her sake than the kids. The kids were a little confused at first, but hey, a gift is a gift…don’t ask questions!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Work, Work, Work...

2005-12-20T06:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was, as expected, the day from Hell!!!

You know, stress really does tell you a lot about a person. If you’ve ever installed or upgraded a computer system you know that it never EVER goes smoothly. No matter how much preparation, testing, refining, more testing, etc., etc. you do there will always be unforeseen problems. When these unforeseen problems arise you find out what people are really like. Some people went absolutely ballistic when the first screen came up and looked a little different. Others were just taking it in stride. But I noticed that the ones that griped the most were the ones that are always griping about something. Funny how that works; why are some people so desperate to be unhappy?

Well, the server is down right now, which gives me time to blog again. At this moment I’m hiding in my office lest the crazed nurses, driven to the brink by yesterdays roller-coaster-day, track me down and string me up by my testicles (nurses have no mercy, especially O.R. nurses).

I don’t know that I’ve ever really explained what I do. I work in surgery at a major trauma hospital in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area (sorry, that’s as specific as I’m going to get). I have been scrubbing for almost 10 years, and I love it. I have done everything from simple mole excisions and hernia repairs, to heart and brain surgery. I love the variety. When I first started I felt quite inferior, but then a fellow nurse explained to me that yes, a doctor may be able to do a lot of things we can’t, but he only does one has one specialty. He/She may be the one who actually takes out that gall bladder, or repairs that hernia, but he can’t go to the next room and replace someone’s knee joint, or fix the herniated disk in their back. We can. That’s when I decided to become as diverse as possible. By the time I left my first hospital (which I loved dearly) I was the only Scrub there who was proficient in all kinds of surgeries, even the ones that are usually very specialized like eyes and open hearts.

I left there to work at a smaller hospital that was closer to home and paid better. I worked there for five years and gained some management experience.

A couple of years ago I transferred to a larger hospital within the company. That’s where I am now. I worked here for about a year when they started bringing up the new computer system. Because of my clinical experience and the work I had done at the smaller hospital I had enough computer knowledge to help with the transition to the new system. That evolved into a full time job and I’ve been at it for over a year now.

It’s not as exciting as surgery, but scrubbing had lost some of its luster for me anyway. At this hospital they tend to put you in one area and leave you there. They needed someone to work on the Neuro cases (brain and spine surgery) and I was more than willing. But after a year of almost nothing but neuro I was tired of it. So when they asked me to work on the computer full time, gave me a raise, and told me I didn’t have to take call anymore I jumped at it. Now I do all the charging for the Surgery Dept. and maintain the supplies database. Yeah, not as glamorous as being on the Heart Team, but it pays the bills and best of all I have pretty much unlimited overtime.

The server just came back online so I should get back to work now.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Shopping with Kong!

2005-12-19T03:45:00.000-08:00

I looked back and realized it's been over a week since I posted anything of any significance. This is a cop out, but I’ve been really busy at work. We’re upgrading our computer system today and we spent all last week preparing for the computer down time this weekend. It’s supposed to be back up this morning with the new upgrades installed. I came in early to help the staff with the new logon procedures, but the system hasn’t come back up yet.

I wish I had more time to spend here. I’ve been reading some other blogs and there are some good conversations going on around the blogosphere. Digger has an interesting thread going over at his Unsolicited Advice blog (see Digger’s Advice to the right).

It seems that a lot of you are busy with the Christmas season too. We did some shopping this weekend and while we were out we went to see KING KONG. I have to tell you; I love movies! I could sit and watch movies all day. I know that probably sounds excessive, but think how much time most guys spend watching football this time of year. Football is ok, but I just don’t get into sports on TV like I do a good movie. However, I don’t go to the theatre much anymore because I just don’t think there are that many movies that are worth paying that much to see.

But it’s only $5.50 if you go to the matinee.

Yeah, but when you take the whole family that’s $22, plus another $20+ for popcorn, coke, etc, etc. I just don’t think most movies are worth $40+ when I can wait a few months and see them on video for $4. And what if the movie sucks? Then you’re out $40 for nothing. We only go to the movies for the big movies that I’m pretty sure we’ll like.

Wife says that makes me sound old, but she’s also the first one to complain when we run out of money so…whatever!

We went to see Harry Potter, and we’re probably going to see Narnia this week. But Saturday we went to see King Kong and let me tell you it was worth every penny. It’s mostly computer generated graphics, but they were awesome. There were only a few places in the whole 3 hour movie that were easy to spot as CG. It was directed by Peter Jackson of “Lord of the Rings” so he is very familiar with integrating CG and live action. If you’re out shopping or whatever and have time to take a 3 hour break I highly recommend King Kong.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

My Christmas Present...

2005-12-14T07:03:00.000-08:00

This is what I want for Christmas!!! I've played a lot of drinking games, but I think this could be a new favorite. A friend at work was telling me about it and we decided that to play it at a party you would have to divide into teams. I could see the potential for arguements within the team, but after you lost a few pieces who would really care? It could make for a very merry Christmas.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

The Summer of Sex

2005-12-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

Previously I told you about the loss of my virginity; future-wife (fw) and I were “on a break” and I ran into an old friend/girlfriend at a party, one thing led to another, yada-yada-yada.

After that night at the party I said I didn’t feel any different and I wondered what I had been afraid of all those years. Well, that wasn’t exactly true; I did feel different. I guess you could say I lost a lot of my inhibitions. And I made the most of that summer. I continued to see ex-gf (actually “former gf (fgf) is a better term-we didn’t break up in High School as much as went separate ways) but not on a regular basis. I might spend the whole weekend with her and then not see her again for two weeks. I was also still seeing fw (was that wrong of me?), but I didn’t see her every weekend either.

Being a frustrated virgin makes you acutely aware of the opposite sex, but now, being uninhibited and eager for experiences, I had become much bolder than before. So I suppose in an attempt to make up for lost time, I played the field. I was taking summer classes as well as working part time and both were what you might call (vague movie reference) “a target rich environment”. I had an ongoing flirtation with a woman at work. She was older, early 30s, and married. Several of us would often go for drinks after work, and since I’d only been liquor legal for less than a year, I took every opportunity to partake of libations (I love that word).

She and I both had to go back to work one night after happy hour to do some staff training on the evening shift. Maybe it was my enhanced sensitivity but the sexual tension between us seemed greater than usual. It was late when we finished the training sessions and we went back to her office to finish up the paperwork. I still wonder sometimes exactly how this happened. I was a young, relatively naïve kid, alone in an office at night with one of the hottest ladies at the company and we were throwing around sexual innuendos like it was part of everyday conversation. The innuendos became suggestions, and the suggestions became dares. Before I knew it one of us (can’t remember which) had removed her shirt and she was sitting on her desk with her legs wrapped around me as we kissed. Our first time was that night on her desk. There were other times, some at night, some in the middle of the day; sometimes in her office, sometimes in mine (I shared an office with my boss so we had to be more cautious there). That summer was my only experience with an older woman, but it was something I have always remembered. There was something about her that was different. She was eager, but not rushed; more comfortable with her sexuality I suppose. She was a good teacher.

So I was seeing fw and fgf intermittently on the weekends and married coworker (mcw) in the afternoons and evenings. Mornings I was in school, trying to get ahead on my chemistry classes (I was a bio-chem minor). I would have a long lecture then a lab. As luck would have it my lab partner was very cute, but chemistry-challenged. She was so cute that even with my new boldness I found it difficult to talk to her at first. She was very laid back which made it easier to talk to her, and the fact that she needed my help in chemistry gave me even more confidence. By the end of the second class we were going to lunch and making plans to study together at her dorm that weekend.

I left work early on Friday and went to her dorm room. She was wearing a pair of guys boxers and a t-shirt, no bra. We spent six hours studying, talking, and flirting. Curfew was at 12 so about 11 we decided to start wrapping things up. She walked me to her door and when I turned around to say good bye she was standing much closer than necessary and looking up at me with that look. I knew this was a signal but I hesitated, a moment of doubt. What should I do?

Suddenly my new found boldness came back and I thought to myself “What the hell, it’s only a kiss.” So I kissed her. And she kissed me back. Then she started pulling me back out of the hall and into her dorm room. We fell back on her bed and kissed some more. She took off my shirt. I started to take hers off, but I hesitated again remembering she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Duh, what am I…stupid? Why do you think she isn’t wearing a bra???

I put my hand on her flat stomach and began sliding up to her breasts. I guess I was taking too long because she stopped, sat up, pulled her shirt over her head and threw it across the room. Then she reached down to undo my shorts, which she also threw across the room. I stood up to kiss her and as I did I moved my hands down her bare back to her round little buttocks. She was still wearing the boxers, but as my hand moved across her backside I noticed the absence of panty lines. That was when it dawned on me that maybe she had this in mind from the beginning. (I’m really not this thick-headed most of the time). I started to ease the boxers down when there was a knock on the door. It was the RA doing curfew check. I still can’t believe I did this, but I actually hid in the closet. What else was I supposed to do? She answered the door and the RA moved on down the hall.

There’s something about almost getting caught that really turns up the heat. When she opened the closet door she was completely naked and she had a wild look in her eyes. I know I had only been with two other women before her, but I don’t think I could have found anyone like her if I had slept with a hundred women. Well, after reading the blogs of some of you ladies out there I probably can’t say that, but she would have given any of you a run for your money. She was insatiable, and eager, and fun. She just loved sex, and everything about it. ***heavy sigh*** We both took back to back chemistry classes that summer so we made sure we were partnered up for the second session too. She went home after the summer session and even though I would see her again in the Fall, the night before she left was the last time we were together.

Sometime around the end of July fw and I started having sex that summer too. I know, I still find it hard to believe myself. No sex for 21 years and in the span of just a few months I had been with four wonderful women. For a couple of weeks that summer I was having sex with four different women at the same time. Well not at the same time, but you know what I mean.

And that was my summer of sex. Even though I’ve only been with four women I guess you could say I made up for lost time. fw and I got back together by the end of the fall semester. We got married in the spring and my friggin’ genius son was born the next year. That brings us to married life, but that’s for another post. I think I’ll call it:

Marriage is great, but I sure do miss the sex.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Sex and the Blog : Losing it! pt.2

2005-12-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

Quick recap: Grew up in a morally strict environment, still a virgin at the age of 21 (although not without my share of experiences), began dating my future wife-also a virgin (but not without her share of experiences), dated for almost a year and decided to no longer be exclusive.

I didn’t think I’d get back to this until Thursday, but I’ve got a couple of hours to kill before my meeting/seminar so here I am. BTW, thanks to those of you who commented on my post about anonymity.

So Future Wife and I were still seeing each other but were no longer exclusive. She lived about an hour away so I usually only saw her on the weekends anyway. The weekend after finals a girl in my hometown was having a swimming party and my best friend (who was home from A&M) and I decided to stop by. It wasn’t a huge party but there were some old friends there from High School, including an ex-girlfriend, who was also a former friend from church. We talked, drank, swam, and before long we were all over each other. In fact my friend later told me that at one point we were putting on quite a show in the shallow end of the pool, but we didn’t care. We hung out (made out) for the rest of the night. Finally I told her I needed to go because I had to work the next day. She walked me out to my car and me kissed some more. I asked her, jokingly, if she was on the pill.

“Of course, have been since we dated (in High School)”

Somehow that comment (probably coupled with the alcohol) broke the invisible barrier I had put up regarding sex. I wasn't worried about getting in trouble, being embarrased, or anything. It was the perfect thing to do, at the perfect time, with the perfect person. Standing outside on a warm summer night with a large bright moon shining down on you as you are about to make love for the first time with someone that you care about. Sounds really romantic doens't it?
So my first time was in the back seat of my car, right?
Wrong!!!
We never even made into the car.
Right there…on the hood of the car…in our friend’s driveway.
I remember that the experience was great, but thinking afterward that sex was overrated. Or maybe I had just played it up too much in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, it was good…best I’d ever had! But I was thinking “What’s the big deal? I don’t feel any different. What was I afraid of and why haven’t I done this before?”

I’ve read that the first time usually isn’t that good (and when you’re a virgin you do extensive research on the subject) so I would have to say that my first time was probably better than most. I definitely think I picked the right person to be with. She was an ex-girlfriend, a friend, and more experienced than I was which made her less tense about the whole thing. In fact she wasn’t tense or tentative at all. I told her later that summer that the night at the swimming party had been my first time, and she was surprised. We had been in the same youth group so she knew I was a virgin at graduation but she just assumed that I had moved on during college. She had no idea that that night was my first time. That was kind of an ego boost, especially to a rookie like me.

We dated some more that summer and the sex got better each time. At the end of the summer we went back to our respective schools and I haven’t seen or talked to her since. I think about her sometimes and wonder what would have happened if I had pursued her instead of eventually going back to Future Wife. On the surface ex-gf and I have a lot more in common than Wife and I do. But maybe that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes Wife and I are total opposites, not just regarding sex, parties, etc, but in our personalities and the way we see things. This frustrates her sometimes but I see it as a good thing. The fact that we are complete opposites means that we can see things from different points of view. That seems like more of a strength than a weakness to me.

Next up on Sex and the Blog; the Summer of Sex. Until then,

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Sex and the Blog: Losing it! pt. 1

2005-12-05T16:27:00.000-08:00

I enjoy reading lots of different blogs but the ones I really follow are the ones I can relate to (notice my blogroll). I enjoy reading about the nympho-housewife who is so madly in love with her husband that she waits by the door naked for him to come home every day, but I can’t really relate to that. In fact I find it a little depressing. It’s more consoling to read about other people with similar problems. But before I get too deep into the marriage stuff I should probably back up some. In fact, since this is my “virgin” sex post why don’t we start with losing it?

I grew up Southern Baptist so I pretty much had the fear of God put in me from an early age. Consequently I didn’t do anything fun until I got into college. I never drank in High School, and rarely went to any parties. I don’t know if I was more afraid of getting drunk or getting caught being drunk. And the same went for sex. Like any teenage boy, I’d go as far as the girl was willing to go, to a point. I would round the bases; first was easy, second was pretty common, third was getting more and more frequent, but I would always stop there, never wanting to risk sliding into home (how’s that for imagery?). It was partly because I was afraid of getting caught, partly because I was afraid of what might happen (pregnancy, disease, etc.), and partly because I believed it was wrong. Everyone in our church youth group knew everyone else’s business, and we all encouraged each other to “stay pure”. The end result being that by the time I graduated High School me and the girl I had been dating were the only virgins in the group.

Then came college. I started drinking. A lot. The parties usually started after class on Thursday and lasted until sometime Sunday. But I was still a virgin. By this time I wasn’t as worried about getting in trouble, I was more worried about my own lack of experience. Although I partied a lot more in college, and dated more, I never really had a long term relationship. Looking back I see a lot of opportunities for sex that I either missed or ignored. The good thing about being a virgin at 21 is that you have pretty much perfected the art of foreplay since that’s all you ever do. By now I was getting to third base on a regular basis, but that’s where it would end.

When I was 21 I met the beautiful girl that would be my future wife (you think you know where this story is heading, don’t you? Read on…). She was from an even more fundamental (strict) background than I was which meant she didn’t drink, smoke, dance, cuss, or have sex. Although she was still a virgin, sex was about the only thing she wasn’t uptight about. In fact, even though it would be several months before we finally had sex, we were in each other’s pants on the first date. In my mind this was great. A girl that wanted the same things I did, as far as sex went. Practically anything was fair game except penetration. I could live with that. In fact I wanted that. And we had other things in common. In fact if we had met in High School, before I started partying, we would have been absolutely perfect for each other.

As the relationship progressed there were ups and downs, as there always are. By the following summer we decided maybe we should both date around some more before things got any more serious. We could still see each other, but see other people too. We still have not had sex at this point. If you’ve ever been in this kind of situation you know how it goes. You say you’re going to play the field but if you’re still seeing the other person you don’t really play too much. That wasn’t the case for me.

Sorry to do this, I know how ya'll hate to be left hanging, but I will have to finish later. I have meetings the next couple of days but I’ll try to make it back here by Thursday.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Sex and the Blog: Prelude

2005-12-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

Sex seems to be a pretty frequent theme in the WWB (World Wide Blog). I wanted to put my two cents worth in but before I do that I need some insight from you blogging veterans. I’d like to be open here and just spill my guts, but I’m a little worried about the anonymity issue. I’ve read of how a few people had to take down their blogs or change them because a spouse, friend, or co-worker discovered their blog and learned all their deep dark secrets. Does this really happen often? And when it does how exactly does it go down. There’s not really a whole lot of explanation out there; just one day a blog ends with a post that their identity was discovered and they had to stop, at least for a while.

Why am I asking? What am I hiding? What deep dark secrets do I have to reveal?

Calm down, it’s nothing like that. Nothing I could go to jail or get a divorce over. Well, I wouldn’t go to jail anyway, but the wife divorcing me never seems too far out of the realm of possibility.

So if you, or anyone you know, have ever lost their blogging anonymity I’d like to hear about it.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

THE BIGGEST LOSER!

2005-11-30T06:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, just a quick post this morning, lots to do.

The Biggest Loser is the best reality show on TV right now, and The Amazing Race is a close second. All the other reality shows put people in difficult situations and pit them against each other. They are forced to "play the game" which often involves lying, cheating, and/or backstabbing another person to get ahead.

But on the Biggest Loser, the person that came in dead last still lost 16 pounds. The winner last night lost 157 pounds, almost 50% of his original body weight. Now, as I've said before, I'm not naive enough to think that these shows, even TBL and TAR, aren't edited to make people look better or worse than they are in real life, after all, it is television. But in the end it's a contest where you win by doing the best you possibly can and hopefully that's enough to be better than the other guy (or girl). You don't win by being the best liar or the most manipulative.

Sorry I don't have anything more exciting to talk about today. Maybe later.
Have a great day!

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Thanksgiving with The Sis

2005-11-28T15:35:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a nice Holiday. I thought I’d have some free time to read some blogs and do some posting, but it was not to be. I didn’t even get to answer e-mails until today. We took the kids to see HARRY POTTER then went to my sister’s house on Thanksgiving Day. That’s always a little tense at first. My sister and I don’t talk very much anymore. I live an hour away and she doesn’t think I come home to visit often enough. What can I say, she’s probably right, but I think most telephones lines and highways run both directions these days (sorry, bit of sarcasm there). Things went well after the initial moments of tension. We had a good time and my kids always have a good time with their cousins. My sister and I have kind of a strange, strained relationship, but that’s a story for another day, possibly another three-parter. I’d like to talk about some other stuff before I jump into that so we’ll put that on the shelf until later.

I’ve been trying to read some other blogs but its hard to stay caught up. I usually get some good posting ideas when I venture into the blogosphere. Now I need to get my timing such that I can read some blogs and then post before the inspiration passes. That’s what I’ll be working on next.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

A, A, & D part III

2005-11-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back here but I’ve been busy. Sue me. Ok, to recap; I was adopted, as was my sister, and my parents never tried to hide that fact from us. I was content with things the way they were and had no desire to search for my birth parents until my son was born. After that my wife and I started searching for my birth parents and eventually found them. It was not the happy reunion I had hoped it would be. In fact, my birthmother was very nice but told me in no uncertain terms that she had no desire to pursue this any further. My birthfather was non-committal.

By the time all of this came to its final conclusion my son was almost 3 yrs. old, I was back in school, and working full time to support my new family. I’ve always been extremely active, if not an overachiever. I wasn’t always great at everything I tried, but I was always involved in as many extracurricular activities as possible and I worked hard at everything I did. But I was suddenly feeling very tired. I had always been an early riser but now I wanted to sleep whenever I could and it was soooo hard to get up in the mornings. This was about the time Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was in the news and was considered the latest yuppie affliction. I was convinced I was working too hard, just a little overextended, and suffering from CFS.

Also, I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but I have a seizure disorder. The doctors haven’t actually labeled it Epilepsy since it happens very rarely (about once every 2 ½ years). That was the major reason we started looking for my birth parents, to find out if there was any history of Epilepsy in either of their families. There wasn’t. Anyway, I had that going on as well and everyone else seemed to think they were brought on by physical and mental stress. My parents were always trying to get me to slow down, but I never did. Still haven’t (I put in 60 hours last week).

So I decide a visit to the Doctor is in order. He asks a few questions, I tell him what’s been going on and he tells me I’m suffering from depression. I’ve never had depression before so I didn’t know what it felt like. He said that the combination of all the stuff I was doing on a daily basis plus the ordeal with my birthmother probably caused it, even though by this time it had been a few months since I last corresponded with her. He gives me an antidepressant and in a few weeks I’m feeling better. Since then the depression has come and gone several times, but it was weird how that one little thing that I thought I had put behind me messed with my head so much.

So now back to my original question; what was the great revelation that brought all of this to the surface? I was listening to one of those pop-psychology talk shows on the radio the other day and this girl called in talking about her problems with relationships. She and her boyfriend had just broken up and she was having a hard time dealing with it. He actually broke up with her, but that was common for her. She had never broken up with any of her boyfriends, even when she knew the relationship was over. She would try to hold onto the relationship, even if she wasn’t particularly fond of the guy, until he finally ended it. She just couldn’t bear to break up with someone. She felt like she was smarter than average and nice looking, but she had always had low self-esteem. She also had a problem with anger, but hated confrontations. She liked to go out and have fun with her friends, when she wasn’t depressed. Even though she never wanted to end any of her relationships she had a hard time opening up and being emotionally intimate; instead she would often substitute physical intimacy (sex) for emotional intimacy. I was listening to this and it all sounded familiar, but I put it aside thinking “This could apply to a lot of people. That’s the way these pseudo-psychology shows are.” Then the “Dr.” asked if she had a history of depression or any other mental health problems in her family and she told him she didn’t know because she was adopted, and that caught my attention. “Well that’s it,” he said, “You’ve got abandonment issues”.

Now I know what you’re thinking because I thought the same thing. This is some guy, that may or may not be a real doctor, on some stupid radio talk show, but it was like all the problems I’d had, even before I found my birth parents, suddenly made sense. My background is more in biology than psychology but I think I have enough experience and education to recognize that all my life I have been trying to seek other people’s approval, probably to replace the feelings of abandonment/rejection I felt from my birth mother, even before I ever communicated with her.

So the question now is what do I do about it? Even though it's been years, do I try to contact my birth parents again and maybe get some kind of closure to all this, or would that cause more problems? I think it's counterproductive to keep dealing with the symptoms (anger, depression, emotional seclusion, etc.) and not the root problem (abandonment anxiety), but I'm not sure how to go about that. Lots to think about, but then that's why I'm here; to get this off my chest and hopefully someone out there will have some insight or advice that will help. Until next time,

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

A, A, & D - part II

2005-11-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry to leave you guys hanging yesterday, but the post was getting kind of long and that seemed like a good place to end for the day. I'm afraid this will be a long one too.

So we found my birth mother, or at least the lady we believed was my birth mother living in a small town just outside of Houston. This is the story we had pieced together. She actually grew up just a few blocks from where I did, but I’m about 99% sure my parents didn’t know hers. Everything was arranged through doctors and attorneys back then. She had just graduated High School and was working as a receptionist at a hospital in Fort Worth. Her mother was a nurse there, and that’s where she met my birth father. He was also a nurse there. I found out later that he was in his mid 20’s and married. I think his wife was pregnant, or just had a child, at the time he met my mother. I can’t remember how we found that out. One of our sources told us, maybe my birth mother, but I know we didn’t have any actual proof of that because if we had they would have been my half-sibling and I would have looked them up too. I don’t know if my birth parents were having an affair, or if it was a one-time thing at a party (counting backwards I figured I was probably conceived some time around Halloween).

So this is the picture as I’ve assembled it in my head. A handsome young nurse (about 25) is working at a hospital, probably his first job after nursing school. He’s married and has a child on the way, but he’s very outgoing and even though he loves his wife he can’t resist the urge to flirt with the ladies at work; he's Italian, it’s in his blood. He meets a young receptionist (18) at the hospital. She’s shy, but pretty. He flirts with her, as he does many others. As the wife’s pregnancy goes along she cuts him off sexually. He is frustrated, but understanding. As time passes he gets more frustrated. Halloween comes along and he wants to go to the Hospital Halloween party, but wife is in her third trimester and miserable. She refuses to go so he goes without her. There are costumes, drinking, and dancing. He runs into the shy, pretty receptionist and asks her to dance. Months of frustration and flirting start to simmer, then boil. One thing leads to another and before the night is over they've both made a mistake they will later regret.

But that’s just a picture I have conjured up in my head. Based on a true story, but filling in the gaps with a little imagination.

Now I have all this information. What do I do? How do I contact her? I spent months agonizing over that; writing and re-writing letters, practicing phone calls. Should I write or call? What do I say? How do you tell someone that you think you are their son? I finally got up the nerve to call her one night while I was at work. Wife wanted me to call from home; she wanted to be there, but I have always been kind of a loner about stuff like this. If I’m going to do something where I might look or feel stupid I’d rather do it by myself. So I made the call. Actually I called twice. Hearing her voice the first time was kind of a shock so I made up some excuse, wrong number or something, and hung up (see why I wanted to do it alone). I sat at my desk for a while thinking about what to do and what to say. I finally decided “Fuck it, what have I got to lose?” (For future reference, whenever you get to a point where you say "Fuck it", you’ve overlooked something). So I called her back. I was shaky at first but I told her my story and she listened. I can’t remember exactly how the conversation went, but when I finished she asked a few questions and then told me that she was sorry, but she wasn’t the person I was looking for. I thanked her and apologized for bothering her and hung up.

Wow. What now? I wasn’t sure what to do. I spent the next couple of weeks going over all the information we had gathered over the past few years. I finally came to the conclusion that I had to talk to this lady again. But I decided to write a letter this time. In it I told her a little about myself and my parents and my new wife and son. I explained why we started looking for her and some of the details we had gathered that led us to think she was my mother. I told her that if she didn’t want to meet me that was fine, I just needed to know for sure if she was my birth mother and if there was any medical information I should have, for the sake of my son.

A few weeks later I got a letter back from her. She admitted that she was my mother and told me some of the facts of the story I just told (age, workplace, occupation, etc.). When she found out she was pregnant she didn’t know what to do. She was young, my birth father was married to someone else with a new baby of his own, and abortion wasn’t an option for her even if it had been legal at the time. Adoption seemed to be her only option, so that’s what she did. Since unwed mothers were not a common or excepted thing in the late 60’s, and because it would have been awkward for her, her own mother, and my birth father, she quit her job at the hospital. I was delivered at another local hospital (the one where I work now-how’s that for coming full circle). After I was born she went back to school. She got her degree and met the man that eventually became her husband. They are still married, or were 10 years ago, but she never had any other children. She answered my question about medical history, nothing to tell, and said she was happy with her life now.

Telling me she was happy with her life now was a subtle hint that she wanted this to be the end of it. I don’t do too well with subtle. I wrote her back thanking her for all the information and telling her a little more about my family. I even sent her a picture of my wife, son & I and suggested that we might keep in touch, at least in writing. She wrote back complimenting my tenacity but telling me that she wasn’t interested in corresponding. That part of her life was over and she had moved on; she had no need or desire to go back there. She sent the picture back too. I didn’t try to contact her again.

That was ok. I could deal with that. I still had my real parents, the people who raised me, who loved me. Another thing I’ve learned over time is that I don’t do well with rejection. I acted like it didn’t bother me, and I was pretty sure that it didn’t. I just went back to doing what I was doing before; life as usual. But I couldn't let it go. Not yet.

What about my birth father? The search began again, but it was much easier this time. The lawyer gave us his name and address off of the original birth certificate and we found him living in Wisconsin. After the last time I didn’t really want to make this call, so Wife called him for me. They talked for a little bit, sort of like birth-mother and I did the second time I called, but in the end he told her that he didn’t think he was the person she was looking for. I guess that must be a common initial response when someone calls you up out of the blue to tell you they are your long lost child. She didn’t believe him, but after what happened with birth-mother I didn’t feel like pursuing it any further.

That’s enough for today. Stay tuned for part III.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Adoption, Abandonment, & Depression part I

2005-11-16T18:55:00.000-08:00

I received a blog-challenge of sorts today telling me to get my shit together. I decided to start blogging, as did many of you, as a kind of therapy, and while most therapists probably wouldn’t put it so bluntly, sometimes you just need a kick in the ass to get you started.

So, let's start with why I’m here. I decided to start blogging after reading blogs by some other guys who seemed to be having similar marital woes as me; poor communication, financial problems, lack of intimacy, lack of sex, lack of kinky sex, etc, etc, etc. Sex seems to be a popular blogging topic, and I could talk about that all day, but that’s not the real problem. That is just one of the many symptoms.

Have you ever heard something that just made sense? In one split-second flash of enlightenment this little piece of information makes all the strange things in your life make sense. Well that happened to me yesterday. If I were in an actual $125 / hour therapy session it would be called a breakthrough. You would think having a breakthrough would make you feel better but it didn't. I felt worse yesterday than I have ever felt. So what was this great revelation?

As long as I can remember I’ve known that I was adopted. That’s not the breakthrough. My parents were always open about it because they thought it would be more devastating for us to find out by accident or later in life. I say "us" because I have a younger sister who was also adopted. She's not by biological sister either (that's always the first question people ask). They even offered to help us find our biological parents when we were old enough. I never asked for their help because even though they offered, and would have helped, I think they were a little insecure about it and I would never want to hurt their feelings. But it was never a secret or even a taboo subject. Everyone at church knew. All the teachers at school knew. When we moved it became common knowledege in our small town pretty quickly. Some kids at school would ask questions, but there was never any teasing or the typical childhood cruelty about it. Looking back I'm kind of surprised by that, but I think most kids didn't really understand it well enough to make up jokes about it. Being adopted never bothered me. There is always the thought of possibly looking for your biological parents, but I was always happy with my situation. My mother was probably young and she did a brave thing by giving me up. My parents were older (late 30's) when they got me and had no other children. My mother had a son from a first marriage, but he had died of polio a few years before I came along. All things considered I thought I was most likely better off. Actually I had a great childhood. I was actually happy to have been adopted.

(Interesting Side-note: When I was in 6th grade I was in a spelling bee. I was one of the last three contestants and I got the word “adoptee”. Well of course I could spell it! If anyone in the class knew that word it was me! In fact I had just seen it on the word list right before the spelling bee.
“Adoptee, a-d-o-p-t-e…”
I couldn’t say the last “e”. I knew it was there. I could see it in my head, hear it in my ears, but it would not come out of my mouth. I missed it. I was out on the word “adoptee”. That’s either great irony, or some kind of Freudian subconscious shit.)

One of the things that sparks an adoptee’s interest in their past is the birth of a child, and so it was with my wife and I. After my son was born we started looking for my birth parents. My wife was the driving force behind this while I was pretty ambivalent about the whole thing. I had done just fine without them for 22 years, but the thought of a happy Oprah Show type reunion was appealing. I was willing to look as long as my parents didn’t find out. I wasn’t sure if they would be hurt, but I didn’t want to take any chances. After about 3 years of searching through old papers, calling hospitals, lawyers, and state records agencies we finally found my mother. She was living in Houston.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Visit Me!

2005-11-16T06:47:00.000-08:00

I figured out how to add Site Meter to my blog so you’re all invited over for a drink! Now I just need to figure out how to serve cyber-drinks.
Yesterday was a pretty crappy day. I tried to post about it but I just couldn’t put anything together. I’ll try to get back later today.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Manic Monday

2005-11-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

Mondays are nuts here because the nurses forget how to do paperwork on the weekends, so this has to be short.
For some reason money got really tight all of a sudden (past month or so). Whenever stuff like this happens my wife tends to get all depressed and pouty. She doesn't like it when we can't just get up and go to the movies or out to eat whenever we want. I don’t have time to do a detailed post about this now, but I will soon (that’s part of my therapy). Anyway, Thursday night she was being all depressed and twirling her hair (nervous habit she has) and I had to convince her that everything would be ok, we just had to ride it out until the next paycheck. She finally stopped thinking about it and went to bed.

This was the e-mail exchange we had Friday morning (it's nice that we both work at computers).

Wife: I just wanted you to know I think you make me a better person. I love you!

Me: Thank you. That may be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.

Me: I was thinking about what you said and while I’m sure that’s true, I think it’s probably not for the same reasons you think.
I think it’s probably because, just like you are a picture of what I aspire to be, I am your picture of what you don’t want to become.
In other words, you are my goal; I am your caution.

Wife: NO, NO, and NO I was meaning because you can always see the good in so many of our personal situations. I tend to panic and think everything is falling apart.

Me: I knew what you were talking about, but that is just one positive for me compared to soooo many for you. You can say what you want, and please do because I really like hearing it, but you will never convince me that I’m not the lucky one here.

I can be so sweet sometimes. Unfortunately that didn’t last too much longer. Something happened later that evening that made me mad, and I was in a pissy mood for the rest of the weekend. But regardless of what happens, what’s said, or how much we disagree this is how I REALLY feel; I am the lucky one in this relationship. Now in the future when I’m posting about how she irritates the hell out of me, remember this post.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Three 3's

2005-11-12T16:51:00.000-08:00

OK, the game went great. Actually it was just a scrimmage, but Friggin’ Genius Jr. hit three 3 pointers. A couple of people commented in my last post about how they aren’t into sports. Well, I have to say I’m not a big sports fanatic either. I would almost rather watch the worst reality show than watch team sports on TV. I do like to play. I grew up playing all the basics; football, basketball, baseball, and track. I never played soccer (Dad didn’t like the idea of me hitting the ball with my head). Sometimes I like to go to games. I would never turn down free tickets to any pro or semi-pro event, but I don’t like it enough to pay $80 a seat. If I’m going to watch sports on TV it’s going to be something you don’t usually see, like Olympic events. Of course wife likes figure skating and gymnastics. We have had divorce-worthy fights over whether or not these are real sports. I say if there’s no finish line or scoreboard in a sport then its status as pure sport is in serious question.

But I’m getting off topic. A couple of people seemed to think that watching sports is boring, but I have to say it is just as exhilarating watching my son sink a 3 pointer today as it was watching him hit a baseball off a tee 10 years ago. And that’s why we sit for hours on hard benches in smelly gyms that are always either too cold or too hot. That’s why we put up with the loud-mouth parent a few seats down that is always yelling at (not for) his kid and cursing the refs.

If you’ve ever played golf you know that you can have a terrible day on the course and than chip in one beautiful shot on the 18th that makes the whole day worthwhile. Well it’s the same at your kid’s game. You may sit for an hour waiting for your kid to get in the game, but when he or she finally does and they score a goal, or make a great play, or steal the ball, or just run up and down the field without tripping, it makes the hour wait seem like nothing.

If you have a kid and you’re debating whether to let them play sports, I say LET THEM PLAY! They will either take to it or not, love it or hate it. If they love it then encourage them, if they hate it then make them finish the season (quitting is never a good habit to start) but then let them move on to something else. And believe me, there will always be something else.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

That's right, JV Starter, baby!!

2005-11-11T05:03:00.000-08:00

My friggin' genius of a son is also a pretty good athlete. We found out last night that he not only made the JV Basketball team, but he'll be starting. He's in 10th grade so if he does well this year there's a pretty good chance he'll make Varsity as a Junior. He was mildly excited. Apparently it's not really cool to show too much emotion, unless you're quoting a movie like Napoleon Dynamite. "Yesss!"
But I found out the other day that it's only cool while the movie is popular, and it's NEVER cool for a Dad to do, especially in front of his son's friends, but that's another topic.
I think he was a little worried about making the team, but not too much. I was a little surprised by the news, not because I doubt his abilities, but because small town athletics is often as much about politics as it is skill, and I don't do politics very well. Don't get me wrong; I don't go around pissing people off, but I don't get up Saturday mornings and have breakfast at the local grease pit either.
The other thing is that my son grew up playing against most of these boys in pee wee sports and I guess there's some kind of mystique that goes along with that. I could tell last year when he was on the 9th grade A team that he didn't play the same when he was in with the starters as he did when he was with the guys he'd been playing with since 4th grade. He wasn't as aggressive, didn't shoot as much, rarely tried for rebounds; it was like he was intimidated by these guys, but he's every bit as good as they are (in my humble and totally unbiased opinion). Well, he's gotten a little taller, little bigger, and much more skilled in the past year so we're really looking forward to this season. You can bet I'll be keeping everyone "posted" on their progress. We've got a scrimmage tourney on Saturday so I'm sure that will be the topic for Monday.
Have a great weekend.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

HALF-NEKKID THURSDAY

2005-11-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard, every Thursday is Half-Nekkid Thursday. I discovered blogs about two months ago, and HNT about a month ago. The guy who started it (God bless him) is named Osbasso and he can explain the mission of HNT better than I. But I will say that it's fun, free, and in some cases intoxicatingly addictive. I only participate in HNT as a voyeur at present. I'm still new to the blog dimension and still feeling my way around and taking baby steps. I want to get to a point where I can add text posts on a semi-regular basis before I commit to pics. And then there's the fact that I usually blog at work, figuring out the damn digital camera, and learning how to post the pics. I know that's all easy enough to do once you learn how, but all things in due time. I also hope to get my extremely lovely, but quite modest, wife involved as well. I know that's not necessary, but it sure could be fun. I've tried to include some links to some of my favorite sites, especially for HNT, (I hope they don't mind) so if anyone out there happens across my lawn feel free to jump over to the HNT neigborhood. I hope to be moving there soon myself.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Best Reality TV quote EVER:

2005-11-09T13:51:00.000-08:00

From last night's episode of the The Amazing Race, Family Edition:

Picture a mother and two sons (16 & 24) screaming at each other with heavy New York accents and NO sarcasm whatsoever (i.e. they weren’t kidding around).

Mom: Hurry, hurry. You’re so damn slow.
Youngest son: SHUT UP MA, we’re going as fast as we can.
Mom: You shut up. I’ll take your freakin’ head off.
Oldest son: (very quiet now) You know Ma, this is a big river. We could drown you here and they might never find the body.

Listening to these people for the past 8 weeks has been like nails on a chalkboard, but that line, and his deadpan delivery, made it all worth it.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Comments & Coming Attractions

2005-11-08T13:49:00.000-08:00

I got 2 comments on my last post, (which was so long ago I had to re-read it to see what I wrote), but I got 2 comments! Thanks to Cindy and CH. It’s been over a week since I entered my second post and I was beginning to think I would never get around to writing again. In fact, I was thinking about giving up the blog while driving in to work today, but seeing the two comments when I checked it this morning was most encouraging.

Part of the problem is that I stay pretty busy. We live in the country and only have a dial-up internet connection at home so I usually blog at work. I’ve gotten so spoiled by the speed that I hate getting on the computer at home. I usually check the blogs during lunch, or down times.

The other problem is that I spend all of my time reading other people’s blogs. Is there a name for that? Blog voyeur? Lurker? Anyway, I like to read other people’s stuff. Friday was pretty slow so I spent most of the afternoon reading CH’s blog, beginning to end. I don’t normally go back and read all of a blog, I’ll just browse through the interesting titles, check out the pics (if you haven't discovered Half Nekkid Thursday you're missing out), or links to another page, but CH’s story was riveting. When I have time to sit down and figure out how to put the links on the side bar I make a list of my Blog favorites.

I’ve read that sometimes some bloggers have trouble finding fodder for their blogs. That hasn’t really been a problem; actually I have the opposite problem. There are so many things I’d like to talk about that I don’t know where to start. There are:
Politics (Supreme Court nominee, Prop 2 [gay marriage ban] vote in TX),
Current Events (riots in France [ I didn't know they did that in Europe]).
Religon (recent decisions by the Judicial Council of the UMC),
Marriage (what do we agree/disagree on),
Kids (will my son drive; will my daughter be named Queen of the Universe),
Sex (interesting post by FTN, and picked up by other bloggers, on oral),
Sex (how much is enough , or is it necessary at all)
and more Sex (just because it's one of my favorite topics) &
Life in general.

Well, I promised to help a friend do a report on Excel so I have to get back to work now, but maybe tomorrow I will have collected my thoughts in a manner coherent enough for public consumption.

Vaya con Dios mis Amigos,

Michael

Who am I and why am I here?

2005-10-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is post #2 and my understanding is that it should suck slightly less than #1. I thought about making a vague sexual reference to virginity or popped blog cherries but wasn’t quite sure how to work it in (notice how I did that there just then).

Seriously, (and don’t expect that word to come up too often) I have been thinking about what to write for almost a week now. This blogging thing isn’t as easy as it looks, at least in the beginning. Hats off to you bloggers out there that post daily.

I should probably tell a little more about my self and my life so if anyone does ever read this there will be some record of my humble beginnings. I mentioned briefly in my first post the fact that I am married with two great kids. As of this posting that is all still true, but could change at any time. That’s not to say that there is any specific problem at home. I’m just surprised to come home everyday and find that my wife and kids haven’t been replaced by (vague movie reference) a couple of body builders in white lab coats holding a straight-jacket and saying things like “It’ll be OK. It’s for your own good”. My family members are each so bizarre and wonderful that they warrant a post of their own so I won’t elaborate on them here except to say that they probably won’t ever read this, which is by design. Read on…

I’ve been surfing the World Wide Blog for a few months now and a consistent theme seems to be that blogs are a poor man’s therapy. So I started thinking, “Do I have what it takes to host a blog?” Well, that remains to be seen, but I do have the basics:

1. I have access to the internet.
2. I have ideas/opinions I would like to volley back and forth with relative strangers.
3. I need therapy, AND
4. I’m poor (or cheap-either way I’m not paying for a shrink).

In keeping with this theme all names have been changed to protect the guilty and keep the innocent in the dark. I could go on about myself, my family, and what goes on at the Asylum (a.k.a. my house), but then I would have no blog fodder for later. I do hope to post more frequently than once a week, but that falls under the category of NO PROMISES. Ok, well I think our time is about up for today so I'll see you at our next session. Thanks for stopping by.

Vaya con Dios mis amigos,

Michael

First Timer

2005-10-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, this is my first Blog post. A friend told me that you're first post is expected to be pretty lame, it's kind of a tradition or something. SUCCESS!

Actually I've been thinking about starting my own blog for weeks so you would think I'd have more to say.

I am 30 something; married 15+ years to the most wonderful, frustrating woman in the world who has blessed me with two of the best kids on the planet. My son is a friggin' genius, and the second biggest smart ass I know (chip off the old block). My daughter a.k.a. Queen of Drama is the most beautiful thing in the world.

That's all for now.
Oh, no, wait, one more thing; my own personal dislcaimer: I make no promises regarding the content or frequency of this blog. I expect this to be the one place in my life where I can do what I want when I want. And since I'm new at this I will propably screw it up a few times, but bear with me, I'm a quick learner.